I gave birth to my son just a couple of months after my 18th birthday. Throughout my entire (admittedly unplanned) pregnancy I was told countless times that once I have a baby my life would be over. Now over a decade later, I’m here to assure you, it’s most certainly not.
Being a young mom certainly has its ups and downs, and without my amazing support system (hey mom!) I would’ve struggled much more than I did. Still, at no point did I find that my life had come to some sort of end now that I had a baby to care for. It may sound cheesy, but it was in fact just a new beginning.
Did I have to miss parties and go out less? Sure, but I learned to get over the FOMO early on. I learned to better prioritize, and I discovered that there was way more to life than hanging out and drinking.
Did I lose some friends? Sure, some of them just couldn’t relate. When you’re dealing with the terrible twos and they’re worrying about how to get their winged eyeliner to look correct, there’s just not much you have in common anymore. The ones who really matter will stick around. The truly awesome ones will even offer to babysit so that you get a pedicure.
Did I get overwhelmed? Sure, at times it was exhausting and hard. Caring for a baby while also juggling school and work is tough. It’s certainly not an ideal situation, and that’s where your support system comes into play. Single young moms especially need to find family and friends that they can depend on. You can’t do it all on your own.
The first few years of motherhood were difficult for me. My son’s father was not around, and I was still growing up myself. While I watched my friends go away to college, I had to start late and choose a school close to home. I struggled to find a job that didn’t interfere with my already hectic schedule, and if I’d been stuck paying for childcare, I probably would’ve had to forgo working altogether.
Dating as a young mom is hard too. I opted to wait until my son was a bit older before even considering relationships a possibility. I instead focused on me and my son. I worked on bettering myself and my situation. The right person came into my life when I least expected it, and now he’s also a part of my kickass support system.
Having a baby at a young age does has some benefits. For one thing, your young body is better able to bounce back after pregnancy. Plus kids can be exhausting and young moms have the energy to keep up. Realizing you now have a life that you are responsible for, forces you to grow up and be more responsible yourself. Not to mention how much cooler it is for a kid to have a mom that “gets it”.
Also, if you decide not to have more kids later in life, you’ll be done parenting sooner than your peers. When your child goes away to college, you’ll still be young enough to really enjoy your empty nest. I plan on traveling as much as possible.
As a teen mom I refused to be another statistic. I regained my lost sense of ambition and stopped focusing on things that wouldn’t improve life for me and my child. Babies are tough, they require constant caring and attention. It gets easier though, at least in some ways. As your baby grows and becomes more independent, you’ll slowly regain your freedom. You’ll also learn that people are much more willing to babysit when dirty diapers aren’t involved.
So don’t let naysayers get you down young mom. You have plenty of life left to live. In fact your life has just grown. You have someone to love and someone that will love you unconditionally. Do your best and make your child proud. Things will fall into place and you’ll be grateful that you never let negativity get in the way of an exciting and wonderful future.
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