What It's Like to Lose Your Person

You were the one person I was most confident in. I was blessed to have you in my life.

You were there for every phase of this life and in every memory. We had this forever thing down packed or that’s what I thought. 

You became such a positive influence in my life. Your contagious laugh could make me smile on the worst day of my life. It was one of the few relationships where everything was reciprocated and I was so lucky to call myself your person as you were mine. 

You light up every room you walked into and there wasn’t a single person who could ever have anything bad to say about you.

Suddenly a fear I didn’t even realize could become a reality happened, when you walked away. With no explanation that was it. And I fell to pieces. 

I still hear your voice telling me there isn’t anything I could ever do to change how you perceive me and that you’d never leave. I believed you. In fact, I still believe you and hold onto this blind faith that maybe you’ll return.  

Whatever your reason might have been for walking away it broke my heart. I’d go to bed crying I’d wake up crying. I’d only see you in my dreams that I didn’t want to wake up from. 

I seem to go through the motions and I try to smile but I feel like I lost part of myself losing you. Things continue to happen in my life and I want to turn to you. You were my best friend and no one really compares. 

Losing you made me realize how much you impacted my life because I couldn’t turn a f*cking corner without seeing something that reminded me of you. From your favorite music, that became mine. To every card and every gift and every memory you were a part of. 

Maybe my identity shouldn’t be so heavily defined by another person. Maybe that’s what I need to learn from this. Maybe I took you for granted.  

I wish I could make it right. But all I can do is try and move forward and try to better myself and hope that we’ll find our way back to each other. You deserve me at my best because you always were the first to accept me at my worst. 

Just know I miss you every day. 

I don’t think our parts in each other’s story are over. At least I hope not, there are so many more memories I’d like to be a part of if ever you let me. 

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