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To My Future Husband: The Only Way I’ll Marry You Is if These Are Our Vows

The institution of marriage puts people in a box. It’s chunky diamond rings, church bells, mortgages, and papers. It’s tradition, laws, and habits. It’s the idea that you lose your independence, and begin living your life for someone else instead of just your own.

Well, I want adventures, stories and giggles, late night conversations and kisses that give me butterflies. I want someone who isn’t afraid to fly, who thinks that glitter is fairy dust, and magic really does exist.

Someone who will show up to the airport and point to a place on the map. Who isn’t afraid to jump off of a cliff into the deep arms of the ocean. Who thinks that life is an adventure, a journey, not just a conventional timeline.

Someone who knows my fears, and pushes me to love them. Someone who can look at my tears, and think that I’m a beautiful chaotic mess.

A man who will cry to me, and show me his inner workings, someone who wants to take care of me, and will let me take care of him.

To my future husband,

I want you to be the fun in my life, the thing that makes me the most excited to live. I want you to be the friend taking shots with me at the bar, the one who’s still there at last call, and the lover who keeps me in bed all day on Sunday mornings.

I want you to sing in the shower with me, and dance naked around the house with me. When I think of going on a trip, I picture you sitting next to me on the airplane, trying to read foreign signs with me, eating new, exotic food with me. It’s you who I want to explore with, set up a tent with, bike across huge urban bridges with, share a hammock with. 

When I feel down, you’re the arms I want to be in; when I have exciting news, it’s your voice I want to hear. I want to fight with you, argue with you, debate with you, disagree with you. I want you to be the one who pushes me, the one who inspires me.

It’s your sweet kiss I want before bedtime, and your arms around me as the sun rises in the morning.

I want to do everything with you, see everything with you, be anything I want to be with you.

I don’t want to lose myself in you; I want to grow next to you.

And as the years go on, it will be our story that we tell – the one that we’ve built, created, and experienced together. The one that we decided to make not because marriage was what we were supposed to do, but rather it was the only thing we could do.