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The Undercover Slut: Getting Away With It

Maybe this makes me a bad person. Regardless of this saint reputation, I take much pride in, there is a little bit of fun to sinning. Let it be known I do go to church every Sunday and say my prayers repenting of my sins. But it’s not enough guilt to make me change the way I live my life. It shows me more than anything I’m human. 

I like sex. But I also like my virgin reputation too. 

I’m both a saint and sinner and it isn’t an easy life to lead but I do like it. 

I live with the motto work hard party harder. I love what I do. But I also love having a good time. 

During the week, you’ll find me busting my ass. I’m also one of those annoying good people who make you feel bad about yourself. I’m the first to give to a homeless person. My social week life consists of volunteering and going to charity events and fundraising money and getting awards and mentoring. I know with complete confidence most people wouldn’t have a bad thing to say about me. I play the good-girl card so well I’m sure it’s obnoxious.

I’m every parent's favorite friend. I’m still friends with every one of my ex’s parents and still getting the Christmas cards. I also know how to play the adult card so well everyone trusts me. 

When everyone trusts you-you literally can get away with murder and no one would even think to consider you a suspect.  

But the thing to remember about being a good girl and having a perfect reputation is you can lose that and lose the respect of many so fast. So you gotta be smart. 

This is where the fun mystery comes in.  

I start my night with the mindset I know how this is gonna end, even if I don’t know who it is I’m gonna wake up next to. I know I’m waking up next to someone. It’s putting on matching lace underwear and a bra not for myself but because I know someone is gonna see it later.  

It’s dressing the part but not going over the top. It’s knowing exactly how much cleavage to show to keep him wondering. It’s wearing something short but not so much so I look like I want to be f*cked right there on the bar. The keyword is a mystery. Keep people guessing. 

I’m the first throwing back shots with no chaser ensuring I’m not the one paying for it. Getting guys to buy you drinks is literally the easiest thing in the world to do. Insist you can get him the drink faster as he gives you money. Talk about something and lie straight to his face that you have it in common and you need to take a shot together because of it. When a guy asks you, “can I buy you a drink?” The answer is always yes. Don’t be shy. Take that drink. Make a drunk connection that will mean nothing tomorrow. Walk away. Maybe consider coming back. 

But just know he's watching you as you walk away. 

It’s knowing my limits and controlling the situation because if I’m maintaining a type of reputation I know not to be the drunkest person there. And if I want to take someone home that's not gonna happen being sloppy.   

It’s not about throwing myself at an individual. It’s giving them attention but also doing my own thing. It’s pretending they don’t exist but making enough eye contact to show they do. 

It’s having confidence when you walk into a place. A lot of girls compare themselves to others when they are out. They stand in their huddle of girls and look intimidating AF. Fun fact: guys are less likely to go up to you in a group then if you're standing alone. Walk around the bar alone and see what happens.

I walk up to random people and just start conversations. I flirt but don’t overdo it. Eye contact is the most important. I know body language will say more than my mouth ever will. I use it. That’s simply touching their bicep when they say something. Taking one step a little closer. Looking at only them when they are talking. Smile. 

The look. If you can master those fuck me eyes that’s all you actually need. The concept of getting fucked without actually saying can actually happen. It does happen. And you don't even need to be by the person for it to happen.  

It’s also about being unbelievably coy with who I choose I’m gonna sleep with. More being observant enough to recognize I'm not hitting on someone's friend I slept with last week. That’s when you get the label of a slut when the group begins to throw you around like some doll. If I’m gonna have more than one sexual partner I make sure they don’t know each other or are in the same group. Guys talk and I don’t want it to be about me if I want to maintain this reputation.

I play the part so well that even if someone were to call me a slut (rightfully so) they’d be the ones who get beat up for it because well because people have a lot of respect for me. That’s when you know you’re doing something right. 

It’s leaving the bar or club but never with my hands cupped looking like I fell in love for the night.I always leave “alone” not even with girlfriends by my side. If I’m gonna hook up with someone I keep it entirely on the DL.

Details included… I’m not waking up and telling everyone what happened the night before. It’s between me and that guy.  

I also don’t always spend the night. In the rare event, I do, I leave super early never giving or taking a number. As far as I'm concerned that’s pretty much it. He just becomes another friend at a bar and I go back to living my double life.