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The Douchebag Percentage Quiz

Take a deep breath and add up all that apply. Go! 

10% – His friends don't have a fucking clue of who you are and to top it off, he avoids at all costs to meet yours. 

5% – He flirts with your friends or any girl when "you're not looking". Add an additional 5% for underestimating your intelligence. 

5% – You've gone on a few dates when you suddenly find out that he's got a serious girlfriend. But according to his logic, he's done nothing wrong because… "You never asked if I had a girlfriend" 

5 % – His 'phone use' is highly questionable and at times borders on inappropriate. He can't, for his life, be a nice guy and instead has a roster of girls he's in constant communication with depending on his ego level any given day. 

10% – He refers to other girls he's been with as; the psycho, the stalker, the crazy bitch, the obsessed, the fucking ex…But when you do the math: excessive ego + a dose of bullshit = he's obviously the one with serious morality issues.

5 % – He's constantly fishing for compliments, from you or any girl under the sun, which results in several posts showing off the many phases his ego goes through on the daily; the ‘gym shirtless selfie’ or the ‘I woke up like this half naked in bed’ are his favorites. 

10 % – He tells you to lose a little weight or put on a little weight, or change your hair or anything about the way that you like to carry yourself because he has a type and you're not quite cutting it yet. 

5 % – He happens to know your ‘Achilles Heel’ and uses it against you just to get what he wants it, when he wants it, how he wants it. Dick! 

10 % – He won't shut up about how much money he has or how many expensive things he owns. Dude, nobody gives a shit about your car. Staaap! 

5 % – He's a pro at non-reliability: he won't text for days, cancel plans with you at the last minute, he's always "fashionably" late and always excuses himself with "Don't pressure me, Babe, that's just how I roll"

5 % – He's a master at the Jekyll and Hyde maneuver. He's the sweetest to you in the beginning, just so you think he's a catch but after you sleep with him, he turns into the douche that he really is. 

5 % – He's a dick pic freak. Instead of a morning text, you most likely receive a glamor shot of his few inches of lack of respect. When did you ask for this?! 

5 % – He has little interest in talking about anything remotely unrelated to him, so don't be surprised if he already forgot where you went to school, or what you do for a living.

15 % – There's a constant underlying rudeness to him. He's quick to judge, criticize, undermine you and tries to manipulate any situation or people to his advantage because you know, he just thinks he's better than everyone else, including you.