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The Art of Letting Him Go

“How we deal with tragedy defines who we are. You are not going to let this deflate you. You are going to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and we are going to figure out what the next step is.” – Parks and Rec 

Moving on and letting go are some of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do after a relationship ends. Missing someone who is no longer in your life is exhausting in every possible way, but it’s damn near impossible to stop—no matter how hard we may try. It’s a lot easier to hold on to someone and hurt, than to actually accept that they are no longer a part of your life anymore.

Letting go means that you are losing the last pieces of him that you had left. But the “him” that you’re holding onto isn’t the person you once loved. You’re holding onto the memory of someone, and that is no way to live, because it’ll slowly break you from the inside out.

So, in order to truly move on and let go, you have to stop looking back and holding onto the past. You have to put yourself back together and find yourself again.

It’s easy to miss someone who isn’t there. It’s easy to hold onto the sliver of hope that they’ll come around. And no matter how much it hurts, you know that at least this way, you’re in control. This way, no one can add to your pain. And I know because I’ve been there. And that’s why I’m saying trust me–letting him him go will be one of the best things you’ve ever done.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, because it’s won’t be. But you’ll be stronger for it in the end.

Letting him go happens slowly. You have to let yourself miss him. You have to mourn the loss of the person you used to love. But you can’t dwell on it. And that’s the hardest part. You can’t let the sadness consume you.

So, be sad. Cry. Throw things and scream. Let yourself fall apart. But when you’re done, be done. Don’t dwell on the pain that has already happened. Instead, focus your energy on picking the pieces up and moving on. And you do that by continuing on with your life. You keep yourself busy, you try new things, and you lean on your friends when it feels like you’re going to fall apart.

Moving on happens slowly because it’s the process of starting over. And recognizing that you have to start over without him is how you start to let go. You have to figure out what your next step is, move forward with your life, and resolve to leave the past in the past.

You’ll wake up one day, and there won’t be a weight on your heart anymore. You’ll be looking to the future, instead of clinging to a person that no longer exists. Letting him go means that you will be happy again. Because I promise, you’ll be happy again. You just have to get through this.

The art of letting him go is the process of finding yourself after him. And it happens the moment you decide to stop looking back.

For more of Ashley’s writing, follow her on Facebook.