I've Got My Demons and They All Look Like You

I know you’re the last thing I should be looking for. Because you’re the last person I should need. So why do I want you so bad then? Why do I want someone who has hurt me not once or twice, but many times, a pattern that has occurred so much it stops hurting after a while.

There’s a thrill to it that I can’t explain. There’s a thrill to what we do to one another. It would be nice to just get along. But we don’t do that.

You and I were only ever meant to dance in the dark.

In you, I see everything I both love and hate about a person. I run from my own demons and in doing so every time I run it’s you I run to. 

Its self-inflicted pain I can’t seem to get enough of. People ask why do I keep doing this to myself? I keep going after you. I think I hurt myself because I like when the pain stops.

There is a sense of control to it.

We’re like fire and gasoline, and it’s me that goes up in flames.

There is something about you and us that makes me feel alive. There’s something about you in such darkness that lights me up in a way no one else is able to.

Maybe it’s a cry for attention.

Maybe I’m filling a void.

Maybe I’d rather have someone’s halfhearted love than nothing at all.

And when you come it’s never for long because you were never meant to stay. And with that you take pieces of me on your way. You were only meant to be some fantasy. That’s all you’ve ever been.

I should have let you go by now. But here we are, dancing in this circle to the same song.

You’re a devil who charmed me as you took my hand asking for just one song.

You might be a demon I’m the first to dance with but we’re dancing in a place called hell, which also happens to be my playground.

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