If You Don't Treat Me Well Now, You Never Will

“The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.” ?Steve Hall

I want to believe that you always mean well.

I really do. It’s in my nature to give you the benefit of the doubt, to hold on for the sake of everything good I saw in you.

And maybe you are flawed?maybe you can’t even help the way you act sometimes. I think maybe you’re just like me. But then I realize I’m trying here, and you’re not. 

At first I thought you were going through a difficult time, because there were some moments when we were so close. 

Now I’m starting to think I never will totally understand. The one thing I can’t compromise is myself, and I know I’m not being valued here. I’m giving my heart to you when you can barely share your time with me. There’s a distance and a coldness in you that I can’t get past.. 

With you, there will always be something that doesn’t quite add up. 

I’ll always feel uneasiness where the feeling of love and security should be. 

Here’s the thing…everyone says relationships are work…

But even if a relationship is work, it’s not like this. The work of a healthy relationship is the planning to see each other despite busy schedules. The work is making the decision to stick it out together despite all the outside circumstances of life trying to pull us apart.  The work is giving everything we have to communicate easily with each other because we want to be as open as possible. The work of a healthy relationship is something two people do together, with each other toward a common goal. 

But when people say a relationship is work, the work isn’t pain like it is here… 

It’s not the “work” of one person doing the relationship work for the both of us. The work shouldn’t be me rising to the challenge of convincing you to respect me more. No one can convince anyone to respect them if they don’t already. The work of a healthy relationship is not the difficulty of one person being dragged along by someone who isn’t sure what they even want from a relationship, if it even is a relationship at all. That is toxic. 

Relationships can get difficult sometimes, but the love itself should be the easy thing.

I know that you probably don’t intend for anything bad?who does, really? 

That doesn’t make it fair. I constantly wonder why I put up with all the things you do and if you really care at all. If I feel I’m in this place, all alone, and you don’t respond, then I’m not being treated right. You don’t appreciate me. And what hurts is you know that, and yet you’re okay with it, and continue to treat me badly. 

This is not love, and it never will be. This is why it just isn’t gonna work for me. This is why I can’t stay. 

If you don’t already get it, I’ll never be able to explain it to you.