I Don’t Want You to Be My Everything

I don’t want you to be my everything.

I don’t want you to be the thread that my mood hangs on, to be the sole dictator of whether I have a good day or a bad day. No, I don’t want you to be my everything. I want something close to it, but not everything.

Before all else, I need to be my own everything. To find out what it is that makes me tick. To create a happiness that’s not derived from another person. To know that I’m already beautiful, regardless of whether or not I have someone to tell me that.

I have seen too much and lost too much to make you my everything. I’ve already given my all to someone, and let them determine how I felt about myself… I made them my everything. Only to be left with nothing at the end of it all. 

Never again will I allow that to happen.

Never again will I love someone else more than I loved myself.

We are all in flux, living in an ever-changing world where people come and go through our lives, a world where all that remains constant is us, ourselves… And we need to be okay with being ourselves.

I don’t expect anyone to stay around forever because we all have our own journeys to follow. Forever is an idea we’ve bought into. But… If you treat me well while our journeys collide, I’ll take it. 

Which is why I don’t want you to be my everything.

What you can be is my almost everything. 

The added sparkle to my shine, the ignition to the fires that are already within me. I want you to encourage me, and lift me up.

I want you to show me new places, light up parts of myself I didn’t know existed. I want you take me on an adventure, to show me what else it is I might be missing out on. I want you to push me, really make me think…

But I don’t want you to be my everything. And I don’t want you to want to be that either. Because if I make you my everything, then what’s left of me is nothing. All the parts that make me who I am, nothing.

But I am not nothing. I am fiercely devoted, to my friends, my work, my career, and my passions. I have opinions, strong ones, and know that I’m not a void that’s waiting to be filled by a relationship. I am whole, I am here, and I am everything already.

I don’t want you to be my everything. I want you to be your own everything, and for me to be mine. And create more than just an everything, together.

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