In Romeo + Juliet, Romeo’s second love (Juliet) was the love story that was elaborated upon and glorified. But what about Romeo’s first love, the one where he was in love with Rosaline? That love story is practically non-existent in the story, because it is a story of unrequited love, a love that is only felt by one person.
While not many love stories are based on the idea of unrequited love, it is an all too real and all too common kind of love story. Being unwanted by somebody that you want truly sucks. First off, it means we are being rejected, which naturally makes us question ourselves and become more self-conscious. Secondly, it makes it much more difficult to wear our hearts on our sleeves, which is something that is already hard enough to do. Finally, it hurts to know that something we thought could be so great was not seen in the same light as the person we wanted to share that relationship with. In conclusion, wanting somebody who doesn’t want you blows.
There are not many things you can do about changing the mind of the person you are interested. If they are not interested in you now then the odds are they probably will not be interested in you later. Sad? Yes. True? Absolutely.
It seems like the only thing you can do when you find yourself playing the role of the “lovesick sucker,” in an unrequited love story is to alter your outlook on the person and the situation itself.
You can remind yourself that things don’t always work out, but that there is a reason for this. Sure, you may tell yourself that he is the only guy you want to father your unborn children right now, but in the years to come you may find an even better, further qualified future baby daddy.
You also have to keep in mind that just because one person does not want you does not mean that you are completely worthless. Think of all of the times you have been flattered by somebodies admiration for you but you were just not feeling the same way; it did not mean that your suitor was some maniac who doesn’t deserve any love in this world (probably.) The same goes for you – you deserve the best relationship out there, and while you may wish that you could have had it with somebody who does not want the same thing is not an indicator that you will grow old and only have a relationship with your 9 cats.
A suggestion that is not always easy to follow is that you should separate yourself from who you have been pursuing. It can be very tempting to stick around them and show them what they are missing out on, but this typically leads to more heartache on your end and more discomfort on theirs. Do yourselves both a favor and give yourself time and distance so that you can get over them and eventually revert back to whatever it is you were before. In the even that it is difficult for you to avoid them (like if they are your co-worker or your roommate) then you will simply have to respect their response to your advances and find a way for you both to feel as comfortable as possible when together.
In the instance that you can tell yourself that you are worthy of love, happiness and everything in-between, you will instantly start to move on. Whether you realize it or not, accepting yourself is the best way to enhance your relationship with yourself and move on from relationships with those people failed to see how incredible you are. It will get better with time, like most things do and eventually, you will find yourself no longer longing for your Rosaline, but loving with your Juliet.