Boyfriends really are such interesting characters. They can be so loving and affectionate one minute and then two minutes later, they are farting up a storm and engaging in the most annoying behavior that makes you question what you even see in them. Most of the time, we think they’re such adorable, handsome and wonderful people – and other times, we want to ring their neck. It’s a love/hate relationship. Sometimes, we wish they would just knock off the weird, obnoxious and annoying behavior but, they never truly do.
1. Burps out loud and farts for all to hear.
Seriously, can you not? I don’t know what boyfriend don’t get but nothing about this is funny or attractive. My boyfriend always rips wind and tries to make me smell it. Ew.
2. Over-uses weird sayings/slang all day long.
I’m sorry is that English or a cartoon language because I can’t understand you. What is “Skoo?” Are you trying to say “let’s go?” If so, where are we going? Why do you say everything is “Lit?” Why can’t you use normal people words? Get off the Internet, boy.
3. Never picks where he wants to eat.
It is highly annoying when all the pressure is put on the lady to decide where to eat. And truth be told, once I pick something he’s going to have a big issue with it. Guys always say that girls never know where they want to eat, but guys are indecisive, too. Trust me.
4. Wears his shoes while laying on the couch.
I forgot when it became okay to wear your muddy sneakers that were just out in the rain all over the white couch. Why are you so dirty? Who raised you? Can’t you f*cking take them off at the door?
5. Takes his socks off and leaves them on the floor next to the couch for like, ever.
Don’t get me started on when you finally yell at him about the shoes and he leaves them along with his socks on the floor next to the couch for a week straight. Why do the socks have to come off with the shoes? I will never understand. Your bare, smelly ass feet don’t belong on the couch either. And, can’t you put your socks in the hamper?
6. Wears the most bizarre outfits for dinner.
Not sure why you think socks over your sweatpants with sneakers is appropriate for dinner. Or, socks with flip-flops. Why can’t you wear a nice outfit for once in your life?
7. Never cleans up after himself.
Letting the dishes sit in the sink for three hours in dirty water has never been classified as washing the dishes. The bowls are still dirty being that they have been soaking in raw chicken water FYI.
8. Facetimes you instead of responding to your texts.
Texts are a lot quicker and easier especially when I am at work. I’m sorry I can’t sit at my desk and look at your face while you say nothing for an hour. Side note: long texts are the new love letters so you should probably get on that.
9. Puts his laundry in your laundry bin so he doesn’t have to do it.
There is nothing more disturbing than finding boxers in your hamper. I don’t wear these so why are they here? Please let me know. Do your own sh*t.
10. Picks up the wrong thing that you ask for.
If you ask a guy to get you something from the store, make sure you write down the name, the brand, the color, the size – everything. Guys just can’t remember. Ever.
Why would you ever think I would be okay with you being all over me around my family but nowhere to be found when we go out. PDA in front of the family should not be excessive. PDA when we go out – a little more normal.
11. Ruffles your hair just to make your bad hair day worse.
Running your fingers gently through my hair and ruffling it like I’m a rag doll are two very different things. Know the difference.
12. Forgets plans that you both made if it was made more than a day ago.
When you ask about the dinner plans you both made a few nights before and he looks at you like you are crazy. Seriously, get it together boy.
13. Uses your towel when you’re not looking.
I don’t want to use the towel you wiped your balls and your asscrack with to wipe my face after my shower.
14. Not saying anything when you are upset because “they don’t want to upset you more.”
FYI not saying anything when you know I’m mad just makes me 500 times angrier and want to chop your head off. Say something to make me feel better so I don’t flip out more. Learn to communicate like a person.
15. Doesn’t introduce you to people he bumps into at the grocery store.
There is nothing more annoying than being the girl in the background while he is babbling away with his long lost best friend from middle school. Don’t mind me here just taking up space. Nothing to worry about. I’ll just go look at these…canned peas.
16. Pretends he’s listening when he’s really not.
I know you say you are listening, but we know you are actually doing something else or thinking about something else. So, I do the “panini head test” and say random things to see if he realizes I’m saying completely ridiculous sh*t. Of course, he doesn’t.
17. Gives you his belongings to hold in your bag when you go out.
My bag is heavy enough as it is, your wallet can go in your pocket. Same with your phone. Why do I need to hold everything of yours? Maybe if you wore jeans instead of sweatpants you’d have more pockets.