Many couples start out smooth and steady sailing in the early honeymoon phases. Everything seems to be going fine, but then something changes and, suddenly, you’re in total confusion.
Difficult situations come up, and you can’t ignore them. We face the choice of fight or flight: to distance and self-protect OR to connect with each other. But it’s completely normal to run into road bumps when you’re a couple.
What matters is that you’re in for the ride together. The following events might just bring you two closer:
1. Cooking for each other and epic failing at it…
So your partner wanted to impress you, or you wanted to make a meal for them. And let’s just say it didn’t turn out as planned, even if you’ve cooked it perfectly for yourself a million times. Maybe you were just nervous…
But then the two of you end up laughing it off because it’s NBD. Even though the dinner doesn’t look like a masterpiece, it still tastes pretty good. And it’s who you’re eating with that really matters.
2. Going out to a party together…
When you socialize together, you get to see another side of each other. And sometimes it’s a different side that you’re used to seeing. You or your partner might reveal a crazy sad-drunk angry side. Or act unusually obnoxious with friends.
A party is also the time you’d be flirting with new people if you were single. Plus, at a party a random ex can come up in conversation. Or in person.
But when you get to happily introduce each other to everyone you know, you realize everything’s all good. You show how much you like each other when you stand by each other in public. You came together, and you get to go home together.
3. A tiny little health scare…
As long as it isn’t anything serious, a temporary panic or a weekend with a cold can have an unexpected result. Instead of walking away, the other person is taking you to the doctor or bringing you soup when you’re stuck in bed.
When you help each other when the other is down and it shows you’re not just in it for a good time. You’re willing to stick around, and the two of you are in this thing for real.
4. A job change…
A transition like this can often put a strain on your relationship, whether it’s a total change of work, or a promotion, or just a huge project. One of you needs more time and energy to themselves as you adjust to a different routine and demands at work.
But when the other person is totally cool and understanding, you are each other’s lighthouses in the storm. Some couples can’t stay the same together. If you guys can stick it out through a change together, you’ve found something really special.
5. The first real fight…
Fighting doesn’t feel good. In a fight, we often show our ugly side and say things we don’t even mean. Many people try to avoid arguments altogether, thinking it’s better to avoid conflict.
Bottling things up, though, is the biggest mistake of all. If you fight with a purpose you end up resolving misunderstandings. You can help each other improve as people.
And it means you two don’t tiptoe around issues or walk on eggshells with each other: the lines of communication are totally open.
Plus, there’s nothing like that “aha” moment when you realize you have the power to make your partner happier by making some slight changes.
6. Some unavoidable time apart.
So one of you has to visit family far away, go on a work trip, study abroad, whatever. It’s difficult to test the waters of how things will be when you’re apart from one another. How will you keep in touch every day? Do you trust each other?
But when you’re away from each other and you’re still staying in touch like normal, you realize there’s nothing to worry about. Missing each other just makes you realize just how much you like being together.
7. Your first trip together.
Although travel is supposed to be a blast, it can also be hectic, frustrating, and totally draining. Unexpected delays, forgotten phone chargers, passport problems, the list goes on…
When you’re on an escape together, it’s harder to take out a moment to yourself to just chill. You’re stuck with each other.
But if you’re still relaxing happily with each other, it shows you don’t sweat the small stuff. You’re resilient to minor setbacks, and you resolve stuff together. Who cares if you didn’t get to stay in the hotel you wanted, or the restaurant didn’t know how to hold your reservation.
At the end of the day, what really matters is not where you are but who you’re with. Even when you run into bad luck, you still feel pretty lucky to be together.