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7 Truths You Learn After Letting Go of Your Big Love

For awhile after letting go of your big love, you’ll be in a tedious cycle where one day you’re totally fine, and the next you’re feeling like nothing will ever be okay again. 

There’s a certain air about people who have experienced a true heartbreak; a wisdom and empathy about them far beyond their years. They have a certain edge, their heartbreak making them stronger and teaching them more than anything ever could: 

1. You Learn more from pain that you could have ever learned from pleasure. 

The process that you go through after losing your love will change you forever. The pain takes time to form, because it takes time to realize what you’ve lost. Your heartbreak won’t live in a single moment –  your heart has the ability to chip and break apart almost endlessly, over an extended period of time.

But what comes from this pain is that it changes you in ways nothing else ever could. You get to analyze who you’ve become more insightfully, and begin to construct the life you really want and the person that you really want to be. 

2. Hearts are tricky things.

The realization of what you had can creep up on you at the most random times – when you’re lying next to your new someone and they smile in a way that triggers something deep inside you – bringing you back in an instant to your old love; all your memories together falling like a thousand bricks on your chest, forcing you to taste your sorrow all over again after you were sure you were over them. 

3. Love is not enough. 

Love, especially young love, is irrational; no matter how much two people love each other, sometimes it just doesn’t work. Two people can be in love but at the same time totally incompatible with each other; their habits, beliefs, tendencies, or thinking patterns making it very difficult to be together. Because remember, love is not rational. 

When two people are very different, they must work on their relationship every day, and learn to compromise. The problem though, is that a couple can reach a point when they are unwilling to, or even able to, compromise, and love alone isn’t enough to keep them together.

4. People will leave if you keep taking advantage of them.

I don’t know why we hurt the people we love the most. Maybe it’s because exposing yourself so deeply to another person, being so emotionally naked in front of them causes you to bind to them so profoundly that you believe the illusion that no matter what you do, you will always be together. 

Even if you chose to compromise, there are still some cases when it’s not enough. Because love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love. Sometimes we get too comfortable, and we make poor calls of judgment. No matter how much we regret our stupid decisions, when you hurt the person you love enough, they won’t come back to you.

5. You’re more guarded.

But this can actually be a great thing. One day you will meet a person and no matter how much you protest, they will break down your walls, and you’ll know that this person will be worth losing your blockade for. 

6. You’re stronger. 

After experiencing the pain of losing a love not meant for you, you will take your time with your next relationship, seeing any red flags very early. You will save yourself a lot of heartbreak this way, only letting someone into your world who is worthy of this trust. They will not just get free entrance like your last love. 

This time around, you understand the importance of loving yourself before anyone else, and you get the chance to be the most badass version of you. 

7. Sometimes, fate makes the best decisions for us.

This is probably the hardest thing to accept. But one day, you will realize that what happened is for the best. Your pain will evolve you, and one day the pain will be a memory. You’ll see that the relationship you once had made you the better version of yourself you are today. You cried, you laughed, you were alive, and that changed your life. 

One day you will meet the love of your life who is meant for you, and though it’s a cheesy ass quote, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.