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12 Ways the Girl with the Big Heart but Ambitious Mind Loves Differently

Ambitious girls with big hearts love a little differently than everyone else: 

  1. Our relationship will never ever take up 100% of our life. But when we do chose to commit, we put in 100% into our relationship. We will be the person you can always lean on, no one will love you better. Just because we have our own life and ambitions doesn’t mean we won’t be the first person you can at 4 a.m. 
  2. We address things head on. We don’t like to argue, our approach to conflicts is more direct so it may appear like we do, but don’t be fooled – we want to listen and talk things out in a meaningful and real way so that fights are avoided, not started.
  3. We will never put our needs aside. Putting your needs aside for someone else is not love, it’s codependency. We will risk tension because we will not put our needs aside to keep the peace at any cost. Because peace is nice, it's comfortable, but that's the thing about comfort, it's often confused for happiness. We love differently because we'd rather be happy than comfortable – and happiness takes making an effort, facing fears, passionate arguments to push each other, confronting difficult things with unpleasant conversations.
  4. This just makes our relationship stronger. We only want the best for ourselves and our partner – we’ll challenge them, have stark disagreements when they’re acting out of line, call them out on their bull. But that only fuels the fire, it’s funny how people misconceive fighting for drama, when in reality, heated debates where no one holds in their feelings actually prevents issues building up and exploding in the future – and it keeps that spark alive. Wink.
  5. Romance usually means something different to us. Of course we still love chivalry, dates and surprises. But the most romantic thing in the world to us is talking to hours with the person we love – someone who we can truly connect with, who supports and pushes us to be better. That’s the real romance for us.
  6. We’re not looking to be a trophy wife. There is nothing worse for us than the idea of playing backseat to whoever we’re dating. We want to grow with our partner, side by side, we’re never going to let ourselves go when we have someone – we’re going to build ourselves up alongside them.
  7. We don’t care what you do, as long as you have ambition. We know that so many people are successful on paper but are actually really boring and uninspiring in real life. If you can get our blood flowing, our hearts racing, our minds inspired, we’ll hang on to you for life.
  8. If you betray us, we’re out. We won't make excuses for you – that you're "complicated" or "just being honest" or scared because you like us too much. Because at the end of the day, we have fallen in love with ourselves first, and won’t stick around when someone isn't appreciating us. The depth of our heart is never-ending, but if you hurt us, you can be sure we have no problem with loving you from afar. 
  9. You can take ‘mediocracy’ out of your vocabulary. Yes, we have strong personalities. But keep in mind that we also love to the fullest degree. Arguing is a result of us wanting things to be better, for the person who we’re dating to be better. We fight with the person we’re with because we have strong opinions and we care – because the worse thing in the world for the girl with the big heart but ambitious mind is some kind of mediocre, passionless relationship. For us fighting is a sign of love.
  10. We’ll make you better. Part of being so ambitious with a big heart is the ability to be extremely driven yet compassionate at the same time. We will teach you how to get what you want without stepping on anyone in the process.
  11. We can love you so passionately because we love ourselves firstWe have learned to love our edges, all our roughness. We love all our gory bits, we have taken the time to grow into our own wrongness. One of the best things in a relationship is to be with someone who can push and inspire you to be bigger, brighter, bolder than you ever knew that you could be. Because we know that love is so much more than a happily ever after. Love gives you new life.
  12. We have big dreams for our future. And we’re going to make it happen. We can be creative, emotional – some people may call us a bitchy or tell us that we’re cray. But more often than not, those are also the people who will watch us make our way to the top, as they sit back, afraid to take the risk to go after the life they really want.