Nurses are a special breed that have chosen to dedicate their lives to care for others. We’re dedicated, hardworking, loyal, and compassionate because we have to be. Try as we might, we can’t always leave work at home. In the medical field, we strive to be prepared for every situation. With that in mind, here are some things to know so you can be prepared to date a nurse:
1. Your prostate joke isn’t funny.
We took anatomy. We can locate the prostate. If your opening line is going to involve a head-to-toe examination, you’ve struck out. Our anatomy jokes, however, are funny.
2. Yes, we have gross stories about almost every body part you could imagine.
On a scale from zero to Quentin Tarantino, how much gore are you comfortable with? We’ve seen it all and more, but our excitement over the nastiest things the human body is capable of can also make us a little socially awkward. Just a heads up. How much do you really want to know?
3. We’re actually staring at your veins, not your muscles.
In the nursing world, an easy stick is a rare and wonderful joy. A good vein gets us excited and, to be honest, a little hot and heavy.
4. When we come home, we’re hopping in the shower. STAT.
We get down and dirty at our job. So, as great as a passionate reunion with our lover sounds, we had a C.Diff patient and we don’t want to be touched just yet.
5. We’re going to complain about our job, but we love it.
There’s a lot of hospital politics, cattiness, and sh*t (literally) that we put up with in a day. It’s a tough job, but it’s so rewarding.
6. Please don’t ever ask us why we didn’t become a Doctor.
We went into this profession so we could be at the patient’s bedside. We love our jobs and we’ve worked our *sses off to get here. Enough said. Why didn’t you become a doctor?
7. We multi-task, but when you need us, we’re fully there.
Six patients, one discharge, two intakes – no problem. More weight! But sometimes a person needs your full attention and we know how to spot this. We’re there when you need it.
8. We’re in incredible shape.
We run from one end of the unit to the other. We lift, flip, position, and then reposition our patients. Maybe we look small, but we’re strong.
9. While on the subject of running around, please give us foot massages q6 hours PRN.
If the way to a boy’s heart is through his stomach, the way to a nurses heart is through her feet.
10. On the outside, we may seem tough, but on the inside, we’re kind and feel hard.
While we’ve built up a weird sense of humor and a hard shell, we went into this to save lives and make a difference. We’ve got big hearts and a lot of love to give.
11. At the end of a 12-hour shift, we need someone to take care of us.
We’re strong, but a nurse knows the importance of rest and support. More than anything else, we need a shoulder to lean on… and food.