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10 Things to Know Before Dating Someone Who Almost Gave Up On Love

For more of Defne’s writing, follow her on Facebook.

When it’s been a while since someone’s fallen in love, they tend to become jaded and give up on the idea of ever falling in love again… But sometimes, on a few special occasions, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

1. They’ll be pretty nervous before their first few dates with you.

When they arrive to meet you, they’ll seem pretty chilled out. But what you don’t know is that hours before you guys met up, they were probably going over every possible scene in their head that included them messing up and tripping in front of you somehow.

2. But that doesn’t mean they’ll pretend to be somebody else for you.

Just because they’re nervous, though, doesn’t mean they’ll put up a front. Since they’ve been on their own for a while, they’ve learned to depend on themselves. They’re comfortable in their own skin. When it comes to dating, they’d rather be their unabashed selves, than pretend to be somebody else just to get another’s approval. 

3. They know better than to get their hopes up too soon.

At this point, they’ve gotten so used to sh*t falling apart, that the only thing that keeps them going is the small hope that someone will surprise them. They tend to stay realistic in the beginning, because past disappointments still ache.

4. Don’t be fooled by their hard shell.

Outside, they might seem all cool and aloof, but inside, they’re big ol’ softies who want to be loved, just like everyone else. Their rough exterior is more of a defense mechanism that they’ve developed over time because they had to face harsh realities alone. If they feel that you’re right for them, though, you’ll start to notice them peel away their layers and show you their true, sensitive selves. 

5. If things are going really well, they’ll try to convince themselves it’s too good to be true.

People who’ve gotten used to things not working out early on in the game will try hard not to fall in too deep too soon. Because when they did, they usually ended up getting hurt. After some time, though, they’ll brush their worries to the side. 

6. Their biggest fear is being deceived by you.

Love is like taking a leap with someone; you never know if you’ll fall and be saved byfluffy pillows at the end, or just vast, dark nothingness leading to heartbreak. They stay true to their words and actions, but they know that not everyone operates that way. It’s a gamble either way, but one that’s worth taking.

7. If they’re not feeling it, they won’t string you along.

While some people are fine keeping someone in their life because they have nothing else to do, they’ll walk away if they aren’t into it. They’d rather walk through life alone than walk in bad company. And they’ll spare you the further pain and heartbreak in the long run by just being upfront from the get-go.

8. That’s why they must really like you if they do devote their time and energy into you.

To quote Rihanna’s song, if they’re still spending time with you, it means you probably found love in a hopeless place. Give yourself a pat on the back – it means you’re really, really somethin’ special!

9. Which means they’ll never put up with being treated like an option. 

Enough alone time means that you’ve learned to treat yourself right and surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart too. The second they sense that they’re not a priority in your life, they’ll retreat. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

10. Because deep down, they’re hopeless romantics.

They didn’t almost lose their faith in love because they’re unfeeling or heartless. It’s because they’re total romantics that they did. They wanted to feel something special for someone, not just use someone as a filler. But the more precious something is, the harder it is to come by. Thankfully you showed up just in time.

For more of Defne’s writing, follow her on Facebook.