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You'll Always Be My Little Brother, No Matter How Many Miles Are Between Us

I know it’s really hard to understand why the people you love most in the world move far away, but know it has nothing to do with you. Growing up, you’ve always had this fear that our parents wouldn’t come back when they went out. 

I’d watch the panic set in on your face when you realized mom had been at the grocery store for way longer than expected. I’d stay up with you when dad was working late so you wouldn’t be alone, because I knew you wouldn’t be sleeping anyway. The unknown terrified you and you hated not knowing the people you loved were safe. 

You’ve always had this heart of gold that cares so deeply for the people who are important to you. Your levels of empathy run deeper than anyone I’ve ever known. 

That’s why it breaks my heart to move away from you because I know you’re worried I won’t come back home. 

But I promise you, I will. I can’t stand being far away from you for too long. I miss you more every minute and think about you a million times a day.

I may be so many miles away, but I’m always in your heart and supporting you in the best way that I can from so far away. It’s crazy to see how mature you’re becoming, you’re not a baby anymore, and sometimes I forget that. 

To me, you’ll always be my little goof ball with the most contagious laugh. Your laugh still echos in my head and makes me smile every time. Please, don’t ever change no matter how different things get. 

I know holidays are weird now. The family dinners and parties that we used to cling to each other at are probably really lonely and I’m so sorry for that. 

You were always my escape from an awkward conversation with one of our crazy aunts and I was always your excuse to leave when you felt uncomfortable. I wish I could be there for you in those times, but I just can’t. 

I know you understand and feel more than some, but I don’t think you will fully understand my decision to move away until you’re older. Right now, it’s going to be hard not having me at your soccer matches or school plays, but know I’m always there rooting for you in spirit. 

I needed to leave, I needed space to find my own and I wasn’t going to find it if I was still at home. I left for my own selfish gain, but something that would help me in the long run and ultimately make you proud of me one day. It’s hard to do, but for the first time I’m putting myself first and giving myself the time I need to be a better me. 

I want you to be proud to say “that’s my sister,” because I’m so proud to say “that’s my baby brother.” Please don’t worry too much about me, I’m okay and one day I will come back and it’ll be like the old times again.

One thing is for sure, I love you with every ounce of my being and will protect you forever and always even if it’s from miles away. I’m sorry I won’t be there to see your most crucial milestones, but you’ve got to know that I do love you and that it breaks my heart into a million pieces that I can’t be there.  Stay strong for me, okay? 

I need to know that you are okay, that you are happy, smiling and being the best kid you’ve always been. It’s what keeps me going.

You will forever be my first love, the kid that stole my heart the minute he was born. We may fight, but my love for you will never die. I miss you more than you’ll ever know and I can’t wait to be together again.

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