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You Say "She's Just a Friend," but I See the Way You Look at Her

I know you’ve told me a hundred times that there is nothing between you two, but I can feel us drifting apart and I can’t help but think she’s the reason. You say she’s just a friend, but I’m not blind to the way you look at her.

I’m not so naive that I don’t notice how you’re always “too busy” for me, but never quite too busy to spend time with her. Or anyone else for that matter. 

You don’t even talk to me the same way anymore — there are no more sweet words or long messages about how much I mean to you. No more talk of the future, I can barley make small talk with you anymore.

Even telling me that you love me seems like a chore for you; yet you can talk about her endlessly. There is always an excuse, but I hope you know that I see right through every single one of them.

So don’t think that I don’t feel this strain and the distance you’re placing between us. I may not speak a word of this to you, but please don’t believe that you have me fooled. 

I know exactly what is happening here, but does she even know who I am? Am I so unimportant to you these days that I don’t even get mentioned?

Maybe I should just trust you more, or maybe you should give me more of a reason to. Either way, I can’t keep living my life as second best.

So if you’re over what we have, then no more beating around the bush or pretending to feel things for me that you don’t anymore. Don’t lead me on if you have no intention of keeping all your promises.

If you’re done here, just say it. Cut me loose because I can’t keep holding onto this false hope. If you want to leave, I can take it, I can handle that. But I can’t handle living in limbo with you. 

I’m done pretending to be blind and acting like I don’t see what’s going on. I’m tired of feeling like an afterthought or the person you only love when it’s convenient. 

If I’m wrong, then please prove it to me. But if I’m not, just tell me the truth because I deserve more than this.

For more from rc, visit her writer’s page here