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To the Man I Love, It's Okay to Let Your Guard Down

Putting up walls around your heart isn’t something that happens overnight. It happens after you give up parts of yourself and get hurt one too many times.  

Once that wall goes up, it’s hard to trust or let anyone in past it.

I’ve been there too, so I understand the feeling.

You say that every time you let down those walls and start to truly get close to someone, they leave. 

Every time you start to develop deeper feelings and let yourself fall for someone, they let you down. You’re tired of expressing those feelings and setting yourself up for heartbreak.

It happens around the same point in each of your relationships.

It’s all you’ve known, so why would you expect anything less from me?  

You’re scared that if you let go of all caution, I’m going to disappoint you and leave just like everyone else.

You keep waiting for us to fall apart, so you keep a piece of yourself hidden.  You know that if you hold back and don’t give up too much of your heart, it will hurt less down the road.

The less you give, the less you have to lose.

Well normally that would be true. 

I want to show you that I’m different, but I don’t know how.  It’s so hard to compete with that kind of preconceived notion. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.

How do I prove to you that I’m here to stay? 

How do I show you that my feelings are real, and that I’m not just going to walk away if things get a little hard?

I can say the words a thousand times, but I’m sure you’ve heard it all before.  All I can really do is wait patiently and remind you every single day until you can truly believe it for yourself.

I’m in this for the long haul. 

I know it’s still early, but I can envision a future with you.  I can see the white dress, our house, and a life spent together with you.

As long as you’ll have me, I’m yours. I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours completely and indefinitely.

In other words, you’re stuck with me.

A relationship is something you have to choose and fight for every day, and that’s what I plan to do. I know it won’t be perfect. I might get upset or frustrated sometimes, but I also know that I’ll never give up.

When I tell you I love you, what I’m really saying is that I am choosing to love and trust you every day. I’m choosing you above all else because you are that important to me.

I hope to show you someday that it’s safe to fully let your guard down with me. 

However long it takes for that to happen, I’ll be here. 

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