I used to think that you were deep. That you were hiding things for fear of letting me know too much. That you were scared to be hurt and used like so many of us are.
It took me a while, but now I know you for what you really are.
A huge waste of energy, of emotion.
Controlling and mean.
I used to want you.
You had me and then, in one second, you lost me.
I will not be made a fool of again and for you to think that you mean anything at all to me is almost funny.
So no, we can’t just go back and pretend like you didn’t hurt me.
We can’t just start all over again because it’s convenient for you. Because now you need me, now you want me.
I’m too good for all of that, and I deserve more than empty promises, than constant excuses.
I want to trust you but I know that you’ll just let me down again.
So thank you. For showing me how easily it is to want to love someone and then have your mind changed. Thank you for showing what I don’t want in a partner, how much time can be wasted when nothing is returned.
Thank you for leading me one just one more time until I had nothing left to give you, to give anyone.
I want you to know that I feel bad for you. Because soon you’ll get so caught up in the lies, you won’t ever be able to be honest with yourself.