To the Guy Who Walked Away, Just Know that I Don't Hate You

Meeting you was such a gift to my heart. It only took a brief moment to completely be taken by you. It felt as if from the very beginning, we belong to each other. Our hearts were completely in sync and ready to embrace the magic of the moment.  It’s hard to explain in words how love just sneaks into your life and your heart when you least expect it.

We were a beautiful imperfect couple that dove right into experiencing what we both felt was the best kind of love. Pure, raw and unedited. I never felt so at ease, loved and comfortable with anyone before like I did with you. You slowly broke down all the walls that I have built around my heart. You embraced all of me and I felt like the luckiest most loved girl in the world. I was so grateful to you for being the catalyst to experience love at its purest form.

But it all came crashing down when you suddenly walked away from us, from me. Now that you’re gone, it feels unreal how I was able to love you as hard as I did. Maybe it’s because no one ever opened up to me like you did and that allowed me to love you wholeheartedly. I’ll never know. All I know is that the love I had for you was powerful and real.

But maybe it wasn’t right or enough for you, otherwise you wouldn’t have left me like you did. Our love was perfect for quite a while but out of nowhere your love for me just withered away. Your warm hugs became less frequent and your kisses shorter. You became distant and cold and even though I was in denial, it became harder and harder to justify your lack of desire to be by my side.

Even though I’ve come to terms with the fact that you no longer love me like you used to, I haven’t moved on completely. I still lose sleep over you and what we had. I still stay awake at night thinking about what went wrong. How can something so beautiful just die without an explanation?

It hurt like hell to lose your love but I don’t hold you responsible for the pain that you’ve caused. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. You didn’t know that your love for me had an expiration date and you also didn’t know how to deal with one day losing that love. I know you didn’t expect this to happen to us. Even though I wish you could have handled it differently, it is what it is.

I don’t hate you, I never could. I can’t resent you if I wanted to because thanks to you my heart was able to experience true love. You gave me so much love, you showered me with happy moments and filled my soul with the most amazing memories. You made me laugh and smile like no other. Your love for me was pure and that’s what matters the most in my heart.

The more I process what happened between us, the more I see it as a beautiful life lesson. The love and the heartbreak that you left in my heart have helped me grow as a person and for that I have to be grateful.

Wherever you are I wish you know that I’ve forgiven you for leaving. I’m still working on moving on but I’m at a place where I feel much better about leaving our past behind. The love that we shared and the history we made will always have a place in my heart because in spite of it all, so far, my favorite love story is ours.