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To The Guy That Wrecked Me, Thank You

I know that there is a reason for everything. I know that what happened between us, the way that it all ended, it had to be that way. 

We could have just stayed together, and it would have made everything much easier. But we would have ended up with something much worse than goodbye. 

I just want you to know a few important things. 

I did love you. More than you will ever be able to understand. And I thought that we were in it together. But I was wrong. 

Honestly, I don't know which was worse. Knowing that I would have stayed with you forever, and stood by your side through anything. 

Or finally realizing that you were never going to stick around. You were never going to need me like I was so sure that I needed you. 

So now, all that I have left to give you is the truth. 

I loved you more than I ever thought possible. I wanted you and you and nothing but you. I thought that the world stopped and started with you. 

And for a little while, I think you felt the same way. 

We were good for each other, and then all of the sudden, just like that, things kind of fell apart. But what I need you to understand is that I forgive you. 

I forgive you for saying things and not following through. I forgive you for giving me everything I ever wanted and then taking it all away. 

I forgive you for making me fall in love with you when you had no intention of making it last. 

But I'm not waiting on you anymore. Even though I know that I could. 

Because as much as I thought that I loved you, you taught me one very important lesson. 

Sometimes, when you love something or someone so much, you lose a little of yourself. 

That's what you did to me. You made me lose myself in loving you. 

But now, I'm starting over. It took you breaking my heart time and time again to understand that there are more important things than being loved.

Because at the end of the day, I'm the only one that has to live with myself. I'm the only one that I have to turn too and take care of. 

And as much as you caused, there is something small that you gave to me without really even trying to. You gave me back my sense of self. 

You made me really look at myself. And rethink what I want, who I want, and most importantly, who I am going to be in the future. 

So, when I say that I still love you, I really do mean it. From the bottom of my heart. I don't think that I'll ever stop loving you. 

But the thing is, I'm not waiting for you to love me back anymore. 

I know that maybe someday, you'll figure it all out. And you'll try to come back into my life. And six months ago, that's all I wanted. 

Was for you want me back. 

But time works in different ways. Because now when I see you, I don't see the boy who I want to spend the rest of my life with. 

I see the boy who who could have had it all. And who, in the end, is really the one that's missing out. 

So please, don't take it the wrong way when I tell you that I'm still wildly in love with you. Because I am. 

But the only difference is now, I love myself more. And you did that.