in

To the girl that got slut shamed for having fun

I know it happened quickly. You were having fun one night at work talking to your favorite coworker about what you guys were going to be for Halloween and then you brought up what your potential costume was. It was like a telenovela, and as soon as the word “playboy bunny” came out of your mouth, the bubble around you two just popped. That connection you had shattered as soon as she said “Don’t you think that’s a little slutty?” you brushed it off and steered the conversation away from that topic. It wasn’t the first time you were called that and it wasn’t going to be the last time.

It’s very funny how life works out because that same night your college mate called you and before you even said hi she said, “Listen you’re going to be mad but I needed to get this off my chest.” That’s not what you want to hear on a Monday night. So you let her continue, and it turned out that this boy (who you thought very highly of) had been going around telling all of his friends that you were an easy girl, a slut, a whore, in his exact words a “free fuck” (excuse my language).

Humiliated.

That was the only word that could’ve been used in that moment to describe how you felt, and really what you were. Your cheeks were on fire, you felt the tears pool at your eyes and when, “are you ok?” was asked, you shot back, “Yeah I’m fine but I have to go.” That was the first night you had cried yourself to sleep in months.

You had spoken five words to that boy in the last year, you didn’t go high school with him… you weren’t even in the same city. Why did he have to say that about you? What did he gain from that? Why did he have to ruin your name like that? Why was this affecting you so much? And the answers were:

  • Because he could.
  • Nothing.
  • Because he could.
  • Because it was embedded in your brain that yourself worth was correlated to what people thought of you.  (it’s really not)

But you didn’t let that one bad night stop you though. Why were you going to let one low life boy define who you were? One five-minute conversation with your coworker was not going to define your self worth. The only person defining you was you. Who is anyone to judge you for what YOU do with YOUR body?

Don’t let someone’s presumptions of you get in the way of what you want to do. So if you want to wear that bunny costume for Halloween, do it. You’re only young once.

If you want to kiss that boy you just met. Do it. Maybe you’ll never see him again.

If you want to have sex with 2 guys in one week, guess what?

DO IT. 

It’s your body. Your mind. Your happiness. And its time for you to take control of it.

Don't let anyone shame you for having fun.