So, as I write this, I envision that we have made it through many hurdles and now we are getting ready to make it through another. We are getting ready to have a precious bouncing baby and there will be a few things that I want to tell you.
First being you have to know that I love you. You have to know that if we have made it this far than you have broken every wall there is to break. You have broken me wide open and you know everything about me, and that is why we are here right now. I cannot wait to love you even more after the baby is born. I cannot wait to watch you interact with our precious baby. Even right now as this seems so far off in time. It feels like this day may not even come. However, I know that if it does you are going to be a wonderful father.
Actually I am counting on that. I hope that this is the case because I could not take our child having an absent daddy. I did and I because of this I will be relying on you even more. I cannot wait to watch you with the baby and beyond. This is what I see…
It’s 2am and the baby is crying, you wake up with us. Change the diaper and then had him over for me to nurse.
I see you in the rocker telling him football stories.
I hear you in the living room trying to calm him because I have been up for two days with the crying infant.
I see you reading our two year old to sleep.
I see you and him playing tee ball in the back yard at four.
I see him with a tiny work belt just like yours at five because he wants to be just like his daddy.
I see you teaching him how to drive at 15.
I see you shaking his hand and handing him the keys to the old car for prom.
I see you shedding a little tear as we send out baby boy off to college.
Many people may feel that this fantasy is too far off. Or maybe it is a little old school. Which is fine with me. I want that old school life in ways. I want you to be the father that is very involved with our children because that is what they deserve. The deserve you to be there for their little league games, and to see us in the audience when the graduate. I mean that whole heartedly. That means that even if we do not make it, our number one priority is now the baby or babies that we have created. You should also know that because of them, I will always love you.
We are making a life together, we are making a person who deserves us as parents. They will not be in the middle of our adult problems. Just please know that this is something that is more important to me because of them. Not because of me, they have now become my world.
I know that you can see the scares of the past, my absent father, and the babies that I have lost. Everything is in this post, and I know that this may seem overwhelming but know that this is bigger than you and I. This is someone who did not ask to be brought into this world, this is someone who deserves everything that we can give them no matter what.
I love you and I want to watch this little person grow up with you. I want this person to be proud to call us their parents. Because as Jackie Kennedy said, “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.” So if we are going to do this we are going to do this right. We are going to make sure that they are first no matter what we do they will always be first.
I love you already, and I am not even sure who you are yet. I cannot wait to find out and go on this crazy journey with you.