To The Boy I Found When I Wasn’t Even Looking

There I was, telling myself I was ready to be on my own for a while. I was tired of being hurt and putting all of my effort into relationships just to get nothing in return. I was ready to be single, to focus on myself and stand alone for the first time in a long time. Then you happened. 

All it took was one message. A simple hello and a few late night conversations and I was hooked. I could tell you were different from the start. You were nothing like the guys I usually fell for. I was not exactly sure what it was about you that had me so intrigued. All I knew is once you said hello, I never wanted to hear you say good-bye. It was strange because I went back in forth in my mind with whether or not I should message you back. This was not because I was afraid to let you in or that I feared being hurt. It was the exact opposite actually. I was afraid I would hurt you or that I did not deserve the happiness I could tell you would bring me. However, looking back now, I am so glad I sent that message and let you in. 

I remember our first date. I sat there waiting for you to pick me up questioning whether it even was a date. You never referred to it as one, in fact, you never even hinted at whether or not you liked me or had any interest in me other than as friends. That is what intrigued me the most. You were shy but at the same time, you were open and let me in. You never once hid who you truly were with me; you were your complete self from the start. You wanted to know about me, about my past, my family, my dreams, my goals in life, everything. No one had ever shown that much interest in me before. We spent most of that night talking and getting to know one another and it just felt so easy to talk to you. I never was one to open up easily, but with you, it was easy. We went to a movie that night, and I remember sitting next to you casually moving my arm closer to yours hoping you would grab my hand or give me some sort of hint at what you were thinking, considering I was still pretty confused on the whole, is this a date question. You must not have caught on to my subtle hints though, cause you dropped me off the same way you picked me up, confused.

I went into my house and analyzed that entire night trying to see if you dropped any hints that you liked me, but if you did, I could not find them. All I knew for sure was that you were different, but a good different. A different that I liked a lot and wanted to hold onto and have in my life. It was not until the next day that you casually brought up that it was our first date in a conversation that I knew what that night was. Our conversations became more frequent and more in depth until I found myself hoping it was you every time my phone lit up. I was hooked on your gorgeous blue eyes and your smile that invited me in. I wanted to know more about you, I wanted to know everything.

As the weeks went by it was clear as day that we both wanted this. I found myself falling for you a little more every day. I liked everything about you. The way you sang in the car (even though you are totally tone deaf) and got excited when you found songs we both liked. The way you would get shocked when I said I had not seen just about every movie ever made, and you insisted that we had to watch them all. The way you told your friends and family about me, and how you just seemed so excited to let everyone know about me. The way you remembered small details about me like my birthday, my love for hockey, my hobbies and the foods I actually eat (because yes, I am probably the world’s pickiest eater so remembering that can be a hard task to do). You found ways to make me smile even when I was having a bad day. I felt safe in your arms from the moment you held me tighter when I informed you about my fear of storms. Something just felt right when I was with you. Nothing has ever felt so right or easy like this before. 

You make me truly happy. I will forever find myself questioning how I got so lucky or what I did to deserve meeting someone as great as you. Someone who makes me feel beautiful and wanted every day. Someone who is handsome and sexy even when using the most embarrassing Snapchat filters. Someone who is funny and can make me laugh at any time. Someone who is sweet and caring. Someone who knows what it is like to be damaged and to have been hurt in the past just like myself, but does not let that stop them from finding happiness. I know they say that no one is perfect, but I honestly feel that you are. Or at least you are perfect for me

The future is so unclear and you never know what it may hold. However, standing here today, I hope it holds you. I hope you are the one standing next to me on the good days when I need someone to celebrate with. Like when I graduate from college, or I am offered my first job, or I place in the top ten at a tournament, or I move into my first apartment. Nevertheless, I also hope it is you standing next to me when things get hard and I need a shoulder to cry on. Like when I don’t get the job I thought I nailed the interview for, or things at home aren’t the best, or when I am sad that it is time to let go of my collegiate athlete days, or on the days where my health problems get the best of me. No matter what the future holds, I hope it holds you. I hope you are the one standing next to me through it all. Even though you have not been in my life for very long and the future scares the hell out of me I am not afraid to admit that I hope it is you

Looking back now, replying to your message was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I am glad I put my fear aside and allowed myself the chance to meet someone as wonderful as you. You are the guy that most girls dream of finding and somehow I was lucky enough to stumble upon you. You treat me in a way I thought I would never be worthy of and I will forever be grateful for that. I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for us. No matter what it may be, I will never regret sending that message and having you walk into my life when you did. I can only hope for many years and happiness to come with you by my side.