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To My Cousin, Being Family Doesn't Make Us Best Friends

We’re cousins, but I strongly believe we’re just not meant to be friends. I know you don’t agree but please, hear me out. You have to admit that we don’t like each other all that much, we never have and with all honesty, I don’t think we ever will. But somehow,  just because we’re family, you keep pushing the issue that perhaps we should find the way to be close and be there for each other, you know, like “family should.”

Well, let me tell you something, we can’t force nature. No matter how much DNA we share, my feelings towards you are kind of… meh. I always considered you an okay person but not someone I necessarily gravitated towards in any way. After trying to be close, because you wanted, mind you, for the sake of the family. It was a total failure, our personalities just don’t mesh. We don’t like the same things and we have completely different views on things I find are fundamental in having a strong foundation for true friendship. So, I just don’t believe it’s possible for us to connect and force a friendship of any kind. It just doesn’t work that way.

I just don’t believe that being family automatically makes us bonded. If that were the case, don’t you think that after all these years sharing endless sleepovers, birthday parties, family reunions, even sharing a home at some point, we would be the closest of friends?

You push the issue so much it’s gotten to the point where I feel kind of harassed, to be honest. You accuse me of being disloyal to you and the family, coldhearted, insensitive, distant and just a mean human being. Really? Well, just because I choose not to relate to you, keep my distance from you and act disinterested around you, is just a reflection of how I feel about you and not how I feel about the world or the rest of the family. So no, it’s not me, it’s you. You can’t handle the fact that I don’t blend well with your personality and that’s something you have to deal with. How you react to how I treat you is really on you and not me. I don’t have to bend over backwards to accommodate your emotions just because it hurts your feelings that we can’t be friends.

Yes, it’s kind of sad that as cousins we have not been able to bond in a way that makes us and our family proud, but it just goes to show that family is just an opportunity to be close and not a definite chance to truly connect with someone. Let’s be clear, just because I don’t care to be your friend doesn’t mean I will not be there for you if you ever need me. As a member of our family, my duty is to be of service to our family as a whole, and that includes you. True friendship between us is just a whole different scenario and I’m not obligated to be one for you. It’s that simple.

I’m sorry it disappoints you that we can’t be best friends and that it’s not something you approve of. Our families shouldn’t have to be affected by our difference of opinions and beliefs, so please stop pushing the issue on me and the family.  I respect that you consider family to be something completely different that I do. But to be honest, we’re not hurting anyone by not being close, by not being the picture perfect type of cousins. I honestly don’t think they even care that much, at least not as much as you do, so just let things be.

We both love our family equally, so you should try to find it in your heart to accept that not all members of the family have to share a special bond. I hope that one day as you continue to make friends realize that some of your friends are more important in your life than your cousin and that it’s totally acceptable and okay.

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