To My Cheating Ex, I Need Answers

Cheating is the absolute worst way for a relationship to end. 

Well, at least one of the worst ways. I would also argue that watching your boyfriend board a train, while you tearfully stand on the platform waving goodbye, then just as he blows you a kiss, he yells back “I’m gay!” and then disappears forever, is also pretty bad.

BUT even that can be forgiven, cheating not so much. 

When you’re cheated on, there’s an emotion that takes over your whole entire being, it’s an angry sad feeling in your heart. That’s how your heart breaks, it’s so angry and sad and overwhelmed, it cracks. At least, that’s how it felt.

It’s a crippling emotion that often makes you look crazy. While experiencing this madness, you often don’t process what’s happening. 

So, now that some time has passed…I would like to say “WHAT THE HELL MAN?” 

Cheating does not make sense to me at all. So I have some questions for you.

1. Would’ve it have been so hard to break up with me first? 

You obviously can’t handle being in a relationship, fine. But couldn’t you call me and break up with me before you did anything? Do you have so little self control that you couldn’t do that?

Are you a caveman or something? You just see a girl and start chanting “boobs,” and forget every ounce of morals you may have had?

2. Why hide it?

Marrying two people is frowned upon; you couldn’t have us both. So why try? 

Did you think you could set us up in two different cities, send our kids to different schools, and pretend you have a night job? 

You knew it was going to end. How is the stress of hiding it worth it? 

3. Did your mom know?

She’s so nice. I bet she would be so disappointed in you. Do you care that you’ve disappointed your mother?

4. Did you forget I know how alcohol works?

“Oh I’m so sorry, I was so drunk.”

Alcohol doesn’t make you a completely different person. If you wanna cheat, you’ll cheat. Alcohol just made you feel like you had an excuse, and your impaired judgement tells you that excuse is good enough, but it’s not. 

5. Did she know?

I hope she didn’t and when she did, she dumped you too. 

6. Are you insecure?

I don’t understand why a guy who wants to be single, would even bother trying to keep a girlfriend. Were you afraid you weren’t going to find anyone else? So you had to string me along as a backup?

I think I like the idea of you feeling insecure, un-pretty and un-sexy; but don’t take your issues out on other people. Learn to be alone and be a good person then you won’t have to worry about being alone forever.

7. Were you always this annoying?

After we broke up, the mere mention of you or sight of you was altogether, cringeworthy. Everything you do now seems incredibly annoying. Did you always post weird things on Facebook? Were your insta photos always so vain? 

Ugh, when you cheated you took my blinders off or something. Or maybe I was just the only good thing about you. 

8. Do you actually think anyone will find you trustworthy again?

Or do you plan on keeping your cheating past a secret? If so, that’s definitely not trustworthy. 

God Bless the woman that decides to give you a chance one day. She’ll will probably have a big heart and blind optimism and I hope you don’t destroy it. 

9. Do you know how much I get hit on? 

I don’t know if you thought I was disposable or that I wasn’t as good as you, but I get hit on quite a bit. That dress you bought me? I’ve got two phone numbers in it already. 

Strangers buy me drinks, and they are cuter than you. It’s feels so great to be free and to realize how much of a catch I am. I hope you look at my instagram and feel stupid. 

That could be me just being petty, but whatever. 

10. Do you think we will be friends?

The answer is no. 

Maybe if you would’ve told me BEFOREHAND you wanted to see other people, we could’ve been cordial. Maybe, if you have treated me like a real human being, I might smile and wave when I see you. 

But no. We will not be cool or chill or “gucci” or whatever stupid shit you say. The only person you have to blame for this is you.

So yes, there’s a lot about cheating and about you in general that I don’t understand and I needed to get it off my chest. Feel free to respond with answers, ya know, for science.

Don’t worry about me, I’m no longer angry/sad. It’s slowly morphed into a relieved/free feeling now.

I’m better off without you.