I want to scream. I want to crawl in bed and bawl until I finally fall asleep. I want to not be mad at you…because you’re not mine anymore. You don’t care about me or what we had anymore.
I want to forget your face, your smile, and the way you made me feel. I want to forget it all, so knowing you have someone new doesn’t hurt so bad.
I want to hate her. I want to say she’s not as pretty, as hardworking, or as funny as I am. I can’t say that though, I don’t know her.
I want to say I didn’t cry when I found out. I want to say I smiled and said, “I hope he’s happy”. I want to say it didn’t break my heart all over again…but I’d be lying.
When I heard you had a new girl in your life, I did cry. I felt like I hadn’t even left that corner where you dumped me six weeks ago. It felt fresh and it hurt so much. Then, I picked myself off the floor. I wiped the tears from my face and looked at myself in the mirror.
This is what I told myself: “I know it hurts. I know you miss him but stop thinking of the good times. The good times are memories not who he is. Because he doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t even think about you anymore. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to move on. Don’t let his stupid actions get the best of you.”
I fixed my hair and walked out of that bathroom with my head held high. I’m scarred and hurt, but he’s the one that’s losing out on more in the end.