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This Is How I Found Peace in My Darkest Moments

There have been many moments in life where I have found myself at the end of the line. Moments of fierce fire burning my faith and hope to the ground. My heart and mind caught in the middle of a crossfire between left and right, right and wrong, wisdom and foolishness. 

I have found myself in times of sorrow and times of endless joy. Life has dealt me a fair hand but has also left me entirely broken, empty. I've allowed myself to sink deep into the cracks in the floor, to drown myself in unhappiness and misery. Demons from the past once haunted me, taunting my every move, my every thought, and decision. My emotions ran haywire, taking over my entire being without my control.  

I couldn’t keep living this way, so I learned how to stop focusing on the negativity and constant emotional warfare I had been fighting with for so long. No more wrestling with myself anymore. No more crying over relationships that were lost, or people that were gone. And then one night as I found myself lying awake lost in a distant thought of wonder, my eyes were opened and I found a strength that I had not known before. On this night I began to open my mind to a bigger picture, a bigger purpose for my life. I felt stable emotionally for the first time. 

It's not easy to let go of the past. And it's definitely not easy to let go of people from them either. But if you want to move forward, if you want to find who you are again, you have to break the strings loose. You have to free yourself from those who are no longer a part of who you are. Facing losses hurts, more than your pride, I know. But if we spend our lives holding onto broken people and broken things, how will we ever learn to mend what we cannot control? Let alone heal on our own?

We all fall down. We all hit rock bottom and find ourselves on our knees begging God to save our souls from tragedy. You are never the only one around you struggling to find emotional stability. It's okay to admit that you are in a rough place, or in a dark place. It's okay to need to be vulnerable at times and find someone who you can do so with. Life is going to be messy and chaotic, it's all a part of the roller coaster ride we are all on.

No matter what challenges or heartbreaks you face in life, you have two choices. To let them define you and bring you down further than you were before, or to let them make you stronger, braver and bolder. It's never too late to find peace. It's never too late to let go of hurt or pain. Mistakes of yesterday can't wear you down if you don’t let them. Forgive, forget and be yourself again.

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