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Read This If You're Hiding Your Pain Behind a Broken Smile

Ever since we were kids, we taught to cover it up. 

You bruise your knee; cover it up with a bandage. 

Your parents find out something unacceptable, you make up a lie, and cover it up. 

Your arms are too fat, wear loose fitting clothes, cover it up. 

Before we knew it, covering it up became an answer for everything. It might not solve anything, but yet we cover it up. 

The crux is that humans won’t do what is necessarily essential and what the situation demands because we have an option that is less risky, which makes us look less like an idiot, it’s a shortcut, that is our “ cover it up??? option.

But what happens when you are bleeding on the inside? 

When you’re hurting on the inside? 

When all you want to do is scream and cry and feel like a piece of shit? What do you do then? How do you cover that up? 

When your heart is hurting from a betrayal or abandonment? Or simply because you finally realize that you place your worth in the hands of someone who was absolutely worthless. 

What do you do then? How do you cover that up? 

Is it through smiling at those shutterbugs that you later post on your social media to give them a message that you’re much better without them? 

Or is It through finding a rebound just to give your heart a solace that maybe they come back to you seeing you happy with someone else?

Or is it through finishing bottles of vodka tonic that you wake up with terrible hangovers leaving you with no idea of who you spent your evenings with?

Why are we so afraid of reality? Why do we try so hard to cover it up?

Okay, you are sick to your stomach, it’s disgusting to feel this way, you feel like you are going to die with a number of sorrows.

But you simply can’t be overjoyed and happy for your life, every single second of every single day. That’s not mental health, that’s crap.

There is a difference between temporary and permanent covering. 

It’s like doing a heart transplant on someone who needs a brain surgery. 

And the sooner you realize that, find the source of your pain, do what is actually necessary, the sooner you’ll take responsibility and decide to cover it up positively, permanently, sustainably, the better you are going to get every day. 

I promise. Until then, you are going to have to feel like this. 

There are times in life where you have to stay put during the worst of the storms. You have to sit it out and hope for the best rather than running in the opposite direction and hurting yourself.   

Start small, have patience and courage, and do not give up. 

You don’t build up mountains in a day. 

It’s going to take a lot of time, a hell lot of time, but hey, at least it is towards something that will be worth it in the end, right?