Don’t you sometimes wish that your parents would just give you some space and let you do your own thing? You might feel that they don’t even give you the chance to prove that you can be responsible and do the right thing.
Just because the rest of the teenagers around you act out, doesn’t mean that you will too. The parents don’t see it that way and it’s not because they don’t necessarily trust you, it is because they have a responsibility towards you and want to see you as a secure teen.
So how are you going to get them to let them see that you can handle yourself?
Do it their way
You probably think that you are capable of doing way more than what your parents expect of you and that the parental control over you is holding you back. Most teenagers go through this and most parents underestimate what their teens can accomplish.
You have to remember that every generation grows up in an environment that the previous one did not know about. Although there are things that had changed over the years, there are others that are the same.
You need to show your parents the difference without trying to force their hand. This will require skill and planning, but if you do it successfully and make your parents think that they come to the realization on their own, you are on your way to freedom.
They will be more inclined to give you more freedom because it wasn’t you who tried to convince them. So how do you go about getting your parents to think it was their idea to give you more freedom?
The timing
Despite what you might think about your parent’s savvy, they might surprise you. Don’t forget that they were there from the very beginning of your life and saw how your personality developed. They know better than you think and any sudden change in your behavior will be met with skepticism. So, the key is to be subtle in your approach.
The one thing you need to know is that this process is going to take time and you will need to change your behavior very slowly. The chances are that your parents will read this as you becoming more mature.
The problem with a sudden change in your behavior is that it is likely to show impatience and immaturity. Your parents would be able to use this erratic change in your behavior as being impatient and therefore have a strong case when telling you that you are too impulsive and cannot make rational decisions yet.
The strategy
As mentioned before, you need to ease into the process and that means that you will have to stick with their way of doing things for a while. If you used to be slack in following orders from them, you would have to show them that you can follow orders.
However, if you wake up one morning and do everything that they ask of you from the word go, they will become suspicious of your motives and all your hard work will come to naught.
Take a couple of weeks and ease into doing what they say, slipping up every now and then and tapering the slipped days to nearly none in the end.
Your parents will read this as you becoming more mature and it could help in building their trust in you. It isn’t just about trust, it’s about them starting to believe in your decision making and coming to realize that you are rational and patient in making sound decisions.
Doing something for your future
This is probably one the most critical phases in the plan as you will now attempt to show your parents that you are looking to do something for your future’s benefit. Your parents will have seen during the last couple of weeks that you have matured in your thinking and will be less skeptical of your motives, should you ask them for something.
Now you can ask them if you could go out and earn some extra money. The first thing that your parents will probably ask is what you need the money for and here is where you can seal the deal. If you can persuade your folks that you need the money for academic purposes, they will be inclined to hear you out.
Let’s say, for example, that you have an important essay coming up and you are swamped with other activities as well and that you need some help. Unfortunately, the help of a quality custom essay service costs some money and you don’t want to burden them with the costs. You want to take responsibility and earn something for yourself.
Going into the conversation with that mindset and argument will show your parents that you have indeed matured and that you are ready for more freedom.
Where to from here?
Once you are in a routine of doing what your parents ask of you without slipping up, you will start to realize that they are less inclined to question your motives when you ask them for something.
This is the time where you will need to be proactive and start showing your parents an alternative way of doing things. Same time, you don’t have to talk about every bit of your personal life. Keep it balanced.
Now you can start to do things without your parents even having to ask you to do something, like feeding the dogs without them asking you to, or cleaning your room or other areas of the house for that matter.
It might feel like torture at the time, but the reward is worth the effort. Your parents will start to see independence in you and they will start to ease up on the rules.
Sealing the deal
When your parents agree to you having a job, you need to show them that you are responsible with your money. Putting some of it away in a savings or investment account of some sort will push you over the bar and your parents will be convinced that you are responsible.
Your parents will see that you make sound decisions and that they can trust you with your freedom. From here on, you should have no problem in doing pretty much whatever you want.
Concluding thoughts
Being a teenager can be tough and parents can sometimes be unfair in their ways, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you show your parents over the course of time that you know what you are doing, they will let go of the reigns and let you steer your life.
They only want what’s best for you and if they can see that you aren’t a kid anymore, they will give you the freedom that you desire. In the end, you could prove to them that there are things that have changed, but more importantly, that you have grown.
Author Bio:
Alvin Franklin is a career counselor helping students achieve what they dream of and help them set goals in case they are confused about it. Parents and students, both have had great success with Alvin. When Alvin is not counseling people, he’s busy in the kitchen preparing oriental cuisine for his wife, watching latest flicks and exercising in the gym.