in

MY LETTER TO THE GUY WHO CHEATED ON ME

Well, well, well. Where should I start? I guess I could start at the beginning — that’s always a good place. But why rehash all that? Instead, I’m going to tell you exactly what this feels like. 

This feels like hell. Not the type of hell you read about in Dante’s Inferno, the one in which claws are ripping off pieces of flesh, but something deeper. 

Honestly, I’d rather have my skin peeled off my back than have to feel this. This pain and betrayal sits in the very core of my being. 

It’s like a decaying corpse of our future together that was inhumanly strangled by you and your actions. It’s foul. It’s a stench for which I have no words. And, unlike you, who have moved on to a girl you found on Tinder. But I’m stuck with this. I have to live with this, knowing that the one person I trusted completely and fully not only betrayed me, but forever destroyed the trust I will place in others. 

How am I supposed to ever believe in anyone again? Oh, wait; you don’t care.

I am not a perfect person. I might have faltered ocassionaly but I loved you. 

 I had expectations for you that you couldn’t fulfill and maybe that was wrong of me. I’ve realized it’s counterproductive to want something for someone you love when they clearly don’t want it for themselves. 

It creates turmoil and rage, but it’s nothing compared to the turmoil and rage I feel now.

But where your next girl a.k.a your "target" sees beauty, I see nothing. I see emptiness, failure, and cruelty. I see a man not strong enough to woman-up and let me go properly. 

I see a man, if we can even call you that, who not only ghosted me, but during this ghosting period, you were screwing girls like it was your family-business. Pervert is a word that comes to mind, if I were to be honest.

I want to tell you that you are the most selfish person I know, and this is coming from a very selfish person. 

I had once set you high on a pedestal. But because of your unscrupulous actions I was forced to take away that pedestal. You’ll never be that high up in someone’s eyes again; not even the girl you'll chose to spend your life with. 

But the best part about this is now I know. I know that people can’t be counted on, no matter what they say. That there is no one who is above human indiscretions, and that you are, for lack of more eloquent wording, a JERK. 

I would have never done this to you, and you know it.

So off I go now into the world. I have trips planned, places to go and new people to meet and find the love that I truly deserve. 

 I won’t just survive you, but I’ll thrive and flourish. I’ll do all the things I said I’d do, while you will remain stagnant, unable to rise above your mediocrity and wicked intentions.

But still, at this moment, it all feels like hell. I wouldn’t even wish this pain on you.

Best,

Etincelle <3