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Men`s First Date: Eye-Opening Facts about Women

You might not realize it, but during a first date, women are focused on entirely different things from you. For men, after they’ve decided they like a woman, the focus of the first date is whether they manage to get anywhere or not. This doesn’t mean that they get somewhere sexually, necessarily – though that is what a great deal of men are after. But it is more about making certain that you actually get somewhere. Does she seem to like you? Is she responsive to your advances? Is there a future here?

For women, it’s completely different.

Are you going to hurt her?

Most men are much stronger than women. This is a biological fact, with women having only about half of men’s upper body strength. And so, something that never even crosses a man’s mind (am I in physical danger) is more than likely to spin across that of a woman’s. What is more, because most women have misjudged at least one situation, where a perfectly reasonable and friendly fellow turned out to be pond scum when they got alone together, she isn’t sure she can trust her own judgment.

And finally, to add insult to injury (though the saying would work better the other way around), women can get it right every time but once and still end up seriously hurt, both physically as well as emotionally. So yes, you might be a perfectly nice guy who would never hurt a woman. But she doesn’t know that. She doesn’t know you. So think about that.

What do to with this information? Try to make certain, until she hints otherwise, that you’re around other people. Stay in public places, don’t suggest walks down dark alleyways or abandoned parks, and make certain you don’t end up anywhere far away from help.

And if you do end up in these places and she’s suddenly uncomfortable, realize that her sudden discomfort is not a negative reflection on you, but rather is a natural reaction to the situation. And so, give her space and ask if she’s like to go somewhere where there are more people around.

Her reputation versus your reputation

There is an immense inequality between men and women and that is when men sleep with lots of people they’re seen as studs, while when women sleep with lots of people of people they’re seen as sluts. It’s completely unfair, but it’s a baked in piece of sexism that just won’t die. And for that reason, it’s something that women have to deal with.  

For that reason, women are always worried when they’re out with a man on a first date if that person might not ruin their reputation –by telling lies about them to other men and women, because she’s actually been out with quite a few men recently, or simply because you look like somebody she shouldn’t be seen with. That means that sometimes women will prefer going to places where they don’t know anybody.

And it is also why they’re often more adventurous on holidays. There is a smaller chance of their reputation getting harmed!

What do to with this information? First of all, don’t take it badly if she doesn’t want you to meet her friends yet. Again, one mistake will mean that years of reputation building are down the drain. That is not something any of us want. So again, yes you might seem perfectly nice and reasonable but she only needs to get it wrong once for her reputation to end up in the dog house. She let her take things slowly.

Also, if you do want to give her the space to be free and open, then suggest going away for a weekend to where you and she don’t know anybody. That way, she’ll have to be far less worried about her reputation and the damage you might do it.

Finally, be a gentleman and don’t kiss and tell. Not only will your date appreciate it. It will do your reputation a ton of good, as you become known as a guy who knows when to keep his mouth shut. Trust me, that’s a reputation more men would benefit of having.

She’s not a pencil sharpener

And doesn’t want to be treated as an object. That doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate if they’re beautiful. Instead, it means that that can’t be the only thing you notice. Yes, you can see their boobs, yes you can see their butts, but you’ve also got to see their eyes, their smile and listen to their ideas and opinions – without belittling them.

If you can listen to a woman’s opinions and arguments and respond reasonably and appropriately to them, you’re going to win major brownie points, because for some reason a lot of men struggle in that regard.

What to do with this information? If you really want a shot at her boobs and her butt, pay more attention to her minds and her ideas. Treat her as a person whose opinions matter to you. Think about what she has to say, rather than dreaming about how she’ll be in the sack.

That doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with her. Of course, you can. If you respect somebody, then you should be willing to disagree with them. The thing is, that when you do disagree with them, you do so based on well-founded reasons and you give them a space and the opportunity to defend their beliefs and walk away feeling what they said has been heard.

Conclusion

It is hard to be a woman. The deck is often stacked against them, with men getting a free pass in a lot of situations where women don’t. If you want to impress her, then you remember that and take that with you into the date.

Again, that does not mean you belittle her, or her ideas. She is just as much a person as you are. It simply means that you realize that both of you come from different places and have different worries and concerns. Do that and you’ll do well.

About the author: Michael Harred is a writer, who contributes to the national Florida Review and the university magazine Cypress Dome. He also writes for Lord of Papers. To find more about Michael – check his  Twitter and Facebook