We all have those dark, deep, dirty little fantasies that aren’t the most socially acceptable to talk about. We suppress our desires so much they make you feel vulnerable, one of those secrets you have to take to the grave.
1. Grab some wine and try masturbating while thinking about your fantasy.
Just to see what gets you going. Make sure you differentiate your fantasies between your desires, though– a fantasy can just be something that turns you on but you may not necessarily act on it.
A desire is something you want to happen. Figure that out and it might make it easier for you to figure out what you actually want to try.
Just start with something simple like “I want to try a threesome”. It might sound silly, but if you ask with clarity and confidence they will feel at ease and will be more likely to try it.
2. Share the specifics and don’t worry about feeling insecure.
Don’t feel like you’re not enough because that’s not-the-case. Share the specifics why you’d like to act your fantasies out with each other maybe you’ve never trusted anyone else to the same degree you do with this person; so you feel safe expressing and acting out on your fantasies.
Maybe you can’t get his big strong arms, pinning you down out of your mind; maybe you have those gum-drop breasts he dreamed about since he was a horny teenager.
No matter the reason being make sure you share the reason they are an imperative part of your fantasy and not some random role anyone can fill for you…
3. Don’t whip out all the chains, whips, latex bodysuit and dildos on the first night.
Start small and work your way up. Get them comfortable with the idea, maybe a small sex toy, some handcuffs, some chocolate fudges get creative but don’t overwhelm them. It’s the foot-in-the-door effect.
4. Be open and make sure you communicate. TIMING MATTERS!
You’ve been harboring these sexual fantasies since you hit puberty so isn’t it safe to say your man may feel the same or even has some of his own?
I mean, how is he supposed to know what the boundaries are if you don’t say anything about it? Chances are he will feel relieved you finally brought this up and willingly share his desires. This can open a whole new chapter with your counterpart.
If they act kind of sour about it, then maybe you should reconsider the space the two of you are in now. Sharing what you want is a good measure of your long-term compatibility with that person.
We always hear people say you can have better sex, a better man, or a better orgasm. Just try to find a balance between the things you already enjoy and what you want to try.
Allow some creative freedom. Enough talking, go out there and turn your fantasy into a reality.