in

It's Not Just a "Funk," I'm Struggling with Depression

Depression makes it difficult to get out of bed let alone face people at work or school. It’s like your mind wants to clean up, shower and go to work but your body feels as if a semi truck is parked on it. It’s truly not just a “case of the blues” or feeling down. It consumes you and every aspect of your life. 

Here are some truths only those who suffer with depression would understand.

1. Things are going well and you feel as if you should be happy but you can’t.There’s nothing more annoying and frustrating than being depressed when all appears well in your life. 

2. You know you shouldn’t be feeding into depression’s negativity but it’s like a force you’re unable to fight so you feel forced to think more and more negatively. It’s like a game of tug of war and depression is winning. You don’t want to dwell on negativity but the force is so strong.

3. Depression sucks the joy out of your favorite things and you can’t even get out of bed for your favorite things.You know those days when depression isn’t in full force when you would do anything for chocolate, ice cream or anything else and nothing could stop you. Well, we long for days like that. 

4. You can probably sleep another day or two and still not feel rested. You can sleep a full night if not more and still feel like you were up for days cramming for finals or studying for a huge test. You wake up feeling as if you slept 5 minutes in the last 3 days. 

5. Walking around with a smile on your face while having a ticking time bomb in your gut ready to explode because you’re barely holding on inside. It’s as if you’re holding on to the last fiber of your being to make it through a day.

6. When you finally decide to open up to someone about your depression and how you’ve been feeling, the responses you dread are exactly what you hear. “It’s just a phase, you’ll be fine” or “you’re just having a bad day, you’ll get over it,” is exactly what you don’t need to hear from someone.

7. Depression weighs you down so much you can even enjoy things you usually love to do. It’s as if you’re empty and hollow inside. You try your hardest to enjoy what you consider pleasurable and it’s as if a never ending wall is put up in front of you, blocking you from that fun.

Depression will literally make you feel so low to a point that you may start thinking you’ll never get better. These are some harsh truths listed above that only those with depression would understand because those who don’t suffer from depression think it’s equivalent to a “case of the Monday’s”.

But it’s not. It’s so much bigger than that. It consumes the entire body and makes you feel like you’re no longer in the driver seat of your life. Almost as if you’ve lost total control of yourself physically and mentally.

I understand these truths and hope those without depression can try and empathize with someone suffering from depression. It’s not just the blues or a phase, this is the reality to so many people in this world.