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It Stings to Know How Easy It Was to Love Him

It was you who no longer wanted me. It was you who ended this before we really had a chance. It was you who chose that “us” would no longer mean anything because your freedom meant more. You made these decisions for me, and yet here I am still loving you. 

If there is one thing I wish you had done it would’ve been to find a way for me to hate you because I want to. I want to so badly. 

I want to not care that I have to wake up without a morning call from you or end my day without your goodnight texts. I want to be numb to the touch so I can stop wishing for something as simple as a hug from you. I want to stop loving you because I’m sick to my stomach that apart of my heart isn’t mine to control anymore. 

But most of all, I just want the pain to go away as easily as the love came. 

No matter how hard I try to erase the memories and moments we shared from my mind, my heart keeps a strong hold. You and I had a love, and every high and low that comes with it that it made a lasting impression on my life. 

And honestly, if it were up to me I know that the love could have gone so much further than that. It was too real, natural and logically illogical that we would have been amazing together for a million moments more. But you let go. 

And now I’m left here alone because there is just something so irresistible about you that I just can’t seem to shake off. 

I may never shake it off, and you may never realize how big of a mistake it was for you to let go of us. But maybe you will, and I’ll be here still loving you.  

Or maybe I won’t, and I guess that was a risk you were willing to take.