I’m just curious… when did giving a BJ stopped meaning that us girls would get a little somethin’ somethin’ in return… Like how often do you give your guy the best blowie, swallow like a damn champ, and then he just pulls his pants up and heads straight for the kitchen for a snack? Leaving you with a sore throat and a pulsing pussy. Like hiiii, your snack is right here. Well, science says if your guy loves to get oral sex, but doesn't give it there might be a reason that goes deeper than you might realize.
Guys suddenly think that this is an OK thing to do. Mind you, if I asked my guy to go down on me, got him all hot and bothered watching me orgasm, and I just walked away after, I guarantee you he’d shit a brick. He’d pout and get mad, maybe even throw around a “seriously??”. You just can’t make this stuff up.
But it’s true, guys don’t just go down on a girl without expecting something in return. It appears that guys are less likely to even give oral in the first place, and news flash fellas: science proves it. In quite possibly the least surprising study you’ll ever read, 899 university students completed a survey on their most recent hookup and the results were… exactly what you’d think they’d be. With more than two thirds of the students saying oral sex was a part of their night, a whopping 63% of the men received a slobbery bj and only 44% of the women’s pussies were licked. Shocker…? No, not at all, we’ve all been there.
What is surprising, is how much of a ‘thing’ this actually is, and it doesn’t just stop at oral. Among all the fighting us ladies have had to do from battling the gender wage gap to making sure we “don’t dress in a way that screams I’m easy,” we’re now fighting what science calls the “orgasm gap.” In other words, how much more often men get off than women during sex, and believe me, it’s a lot.
In another painfully unsatisfying study explained by Psychology Today, they found that out of 800 heterosexual college students, there was a 52% orgasm gap. That’s 39% of women getting a big O from sex, and 91% of men. Must be nice to be in that 91%, us women are over here with our fingers crossed, hoping we come across a guy who actually can make us O. (Which is almost never)
And I don’t mean to point fingers or place blame, but if I had to, I’d blame the penises in this equation. Because men seem to have this philosophy that sex = penetration = orgasm for both parties, and they are sadly mistaken. 80% of women don’t orgasm from penetration, that means out of 100 women, 80 of them need to be stimulated else where to reach their climax. I mean, maybe men would realize that if they spent more time going down on us and see how much the slightest touch to our clit makes us go wild? Guys need a reality check and fast, because praying that our Tinder date knows how to get a girl off isn’t going to get us anywhere. Instead, here’s what we need to do:
1. Straight upaskhim to go down on you.
Bring it up and often. If you’re sexting throw it in there, you know the saying “plant the seed and see what grows” – it just might work. And if he says no…
2. Dig in and find out why he’s not for it. Don’t stoop to a guy’s classic level of whine-like-a -two-year-old-and-storm-away, just ask him honestly what he has against oral. First of all, it’s a great judgement of character and second, you might be able to do something that would make him comfortable… like shower or something.
3. Tell him it takes a hell of a lot more than just some thrusting to get you off… but like in a sexy way…
That means he needs to play around a little bit if he actually wants to make you O. Dirty talk him into playing with your clit while you’re on top of him. And if he doesn’t, you should 1. Not date him And 2. Take matters into your own hands. Ain’t no shame in doing your own thing while riding him.
Cheers to the fuck boys who think it’s okay to bust a nut and then call it a night– their rein is over. It’s our turn to get the big O with every sexual encounter.
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