I Should Warn You, You're Taking A Risk In Loving Me

I should let you know right now, I am difficult to love. I've been let down before time and time again – so excuse me if my heart isn't ready to trust you. And while I may appreciate you, and man do I devour your love, just know there are risks associated with loving me.

You see women like me we've been dropped for countless reasons. Our hopes have gone up more times than we can count – so sometimes we are skeptical that people like you exist to actually love us. And when you tell me, I might question it. I might push you away. I might drive you crazy. Because at the end of the day I am trying to assess whether you mean what you say, or if you actually are going to be like everyone else who walked away.

The risks associated with me are high, so if you're in this please know, I come with a caution sticker that I thought I should warn you about.

I am quick to push people away, including someone who is letting their feelings be told to me.

I want to believe you when you say you love or care for me. But you have to understand having a history of mine where no one seems to stay makes it impossible to believe. So please be patient with me. Hold me tight, and tell me I am worth the risk even if it might get a bit annoying.

I am trying to make sure I made the right choice in choosing you, in the same way, you are choosing to love me. And it'll take some time. But I thought I should warn you.

I am not perfect and will never be.

I am full of flaws because at the end of the day I am human. If you want a cookie cutter partner, I am not the girl for you. My mind wanders a bit, and sometimes my mouth gets the best of me. 

I am not perfect and you can't expect me to be. There will be moments where I will let you down, where I am not what you are going to want, so please be sure that I am what you need or what you are looking for. If you cannot accept all my flaws or you will let them get the best of you – then I can't be the one to settle down with you.

You loving me is a risk. It is something that you have to be ready for and be sure you want to take on this life with me.

There is a lot I have to offer and I damn well will remind you of that.

But I am loud. I am opinionated. I will always tell you what I think, and why I think the way I do.

I will be wrong a lot even if I think I am right. And I sure as hell might be stubborn about admitting it. 

I am bold and independent, and I am not used to allowing people to do things for me because I've had to take care of myself for so long. I have a tough time showing emotion or giving affection because I have been manipulated over the years about what that looks likes and why it is important.

And these are risks you are taking on, being with someone who has continuously done this life thing by herself. And no I don't admit to having anything down pact but I do admit I know who I am and sometimes that means I am difficult.

And if you can't be with someone like me – if you are expecting a perfect sub or a pretty princess type – that isn't me either.

And at the end of the day I am warning you, if you chose to love regardless of all I have disclosed, I think you are pretty brave. Maybe you're a little crazy.

I thought I should warn you to give you a heads up….

Because these are risks you would be investing in, and if you can handle them I am here waiting.

To see more from Amina, visit her here.