I want you to know that the pain you might be experiencing at this moment is real. And it is heard, and felt. Not just because I am trying to feel sorry for you, or because I am trying to understand but because I too have had my own experience of loss. And if you weren’t ready to say goodbye or let go, I know that the pain is real and I want you to know that it is okay.
We all have experienced really quick and painful goodbyes. It has been when we don’t want it to happen, and it has been when we least expect it.
And the hardest thing is that the special bonds that we had or have had – tend to have produced some of the greatest passion ever.
And the difficult thing is whether we ended up being the ones who in the end had to let go – or simply some outside force interrupted it doesn’t mean it was anything less than hard.
When we aren’t ready, or perhaps we are hit with some of the greatest and sometimes saddest goodbyes. And this is because the person we have to let go of matters to us – and it is so sudden.
Although it is painful to let go, most of those who come into our lives in any capacity aren’t meant to stay.
They will come for a season in our lives, and sometimes it is when we need them to be there the most. They come and they build us up, and they each us, and they love us.
And when they leave we want to deny that it ever happened. That they ever walked away – and instead we might hope they come back.
But if there is one thing that is important to know it is that people who stay for the long term – and I mean through everything – are the ones who are meant to last forever. Some will stay I promise you, but not everyone is supposed to.
Life is too short to focus on who left you for whatever reason. If you find in your life that you have had someone who has become a star who you cherish, then keep the memories.
Hold onto the notion that for as long as you had them, things were beautiful.
As we grow older, people will come and go. And as we learn what this means, and what it looks like, it becomes easier to mourn and then move on from those who have moved on from us.
Focusing on the currency in our lives – relationships with people right in front of us helps.
Being present – and remember those important connections allows us to grow. And it doesn’t mean you forget those you once used to network with either.
What it means is being thankful for how they helped you be the best you. And learn from each experience with a person as you progress through life’s journey.
It is okay to not be ready to let go.
Please don’t think that just because you are having a hard time letting go of the person, or relationship that you are crazy.
Even in the midst of connections to people who only hurt you – there are still memories that are valid – that make it hard to leave them behind.
You don’t want to let go because your care for them is unconditional, and you know in your heart it isn’t easy. And it is not meant to be.
Having a hard time letting go makes you human. When we love, we love so hard. It is who we are meant and who we were created to be.
Remember to value those who have and will always stick around.
The next situation or experience you have where you find yourself being left by someone or realizing you have to be the one to step back – remember this:
Everyone and every experience we have had or will have will help us become the best versions of ourselves. This doesn’t mean it is always going to be happy go lucky – but allowing yourself to remember who or what they were to you will allow you to grow.
It is okay to feel upset, sad, or however about the loss of a person or people – but if we can work through the pain in order to give ourselves a sense of peace and access to new connections we will continue to develop.
And in the end we will always forget the ones who we had to say goodbye to, or the ones who said goodbye to us.
You will carry them forever – and that is worth thinking about.