When I met you, I had no idea how much you would change me, in all of the best ways possible. I had no idea that you would make me feel every feeling, all at once. I had no idea that you would be my wrecking ball.
Things were never slow with you. My love for you hit me like a bag of bricks. It was like you stared into my eyes just one time, and in that moment, I seen my whole future.
Right there in front of me was a mixture of everything I would ever want in my lifetime. Everything I needed.
I always had trouble planning my future. You always told me I was indecisive, in moments where I couldn’t decide between Pepsi and Root Beer, or a hot dog and a hamburger.
The one thing I was always sure about was you. I was sure you’d be there walking next to me in every situation in my future, in every battle, every laugh, and every cry.
Battles and bad situations seemed less terrifying when I knew I’d have you there to push me and guide me all at the same time.
But that’s not how everything worked out. We broke up a few times. Things would happen and it was like the universe would split in half before we got to be together.
You left again…
I feel so sad, so broken, so hurt. I feel this way because I know you were my future. I sit and cry and wonder why we can’t just fight harder or have it a little easier.
But then something at the back of my head calms me down, something at the bottom of my heart.
That thing is the thought, the belief, that you are still my future. You will still marry me, be the other parent to my children, my partner, and my lifelong best friend. I have so much faith in the love we have for eachother that small parts of me know we’ll be together.
Whether it is in a week, a month, six months, or two years, I have such a strong feeling that we will work out.
I will be here when the universe is ready for us. I won’t stop searching for the happiness and strength within myself. I won’t stop moving forward.
Because I know if I keep moving forward I will move right back into your arms.
Where I belong. I’ll be there.