I get it, you've been hurt before. Somewhere along the line of wanting love, searching for it…then losing it over and over you told yourself you were done. Your heart can't handle anymore Bozo The Clown types, and frankly, you might be like most women when you are like enough is enough. Hurt and pain sucks, and having to pick oneself up in order to try and move on is okay maybe the first couple times – but at some point, you just tell yourself "down with love".
So I get it going through the motions of wanting love but feeling like you're done with it all. Wanting to work on yourself – wanting to avoid love like death because it never seems to go the way you are hoping for. So you become another woman who doesn't want it.
Maybe you become a woman who like myself avoids it like the plague because it just doesn't work what you need right now. Maybe you are feeling like the only one feeling this way…maybe you feel like no one out there knows what it is you are going through – what it is you are experiencing.
You see the Facebook posts, the engagement announcements and pictures, the holding of the hands, the romantic ventures – and you think why in the hell do I need that right now.
Well if all you know is hurt — it is likely you are a woman who avoids love because you are tired of the damage, of the abuse of the heart, of the condition that people say they will say but choose not too
And perhaps being in the middle of people who keep broadcasting their love makes you feel nauseous because it hasn't worked in your favor. And you don't think il of the people who have found love, but you certainly are done asking yourself "why not me".
Perhaps you have felt alone feeling these feelings, trying to no offend others. Trying to be supportive but at the same time wanting to escape it – just know you are not alone. There are many women who are tired of the failed relationships, of the constant runarounds, and failures of commitments.
The desire to avoid intimacy for whatever reason is not necessarily a bad thing, it is just that you don't want love right now. You are avoiding it because you know you have other things you have to focus right now.
Perhaps it is just not for you. It is not something you need or want right at this time, maybe ever.
But I want you to know you are not alone. You are not awful or awkward because you are looking for something other than love. Although many different outlets may tell you that seems to be the most important element in this life – please know there is so much more to life than just having a partner.
You are beautiful, you are strong, and you are desirable. Even if you don't want love at all, or are just taking a much-needed break, take as long as you need and please know you are not alone.
Love is something that doesn't need to be rushed into. And while there may be times where you feel no one will understand your reasoning, or simply understand you – just know you are never the one out there experiencing this.
Love should be something you want when you want it, it doesn't need to be jumped into. And often people take breaks from dating, sex, relationships, from love… and they turn out just fine.
You will be okay, there are many women out there who choose similar paths. Who want out of love.
And honestly, there is nothing wrong with you or wrong with that choice. So immerse yourself in knowing everything in time will happen. You are not strange or crazy for wanting a break.
Do what is best for you and do not let others tell you otherwise.
To see more from Amina, visit her here.