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For all the Single Parents just trying to make it work

First and foremost, I praise you for getting this far. So pat yourself on the back, grab a glass of wine, and relax for a second. I’ve only been an official mother for right at 2 months now, and I commend every one of you. I understand your struggle. Now don’t get me wrong, I have one of the most amazing support systems a girl could ask for, but who is really there at 3 o’clock in the morning when you are exhausted from a 9 hour day at the office plus running around trying to get life organized. My son’s father helps out as much as I allow him to. Picks him up from day care, keeps him once a week, and helps me when I look a complete mess.

BUT SOMETIMES IT’S HARD

Hard to wake up in the mornings when you’ve slept maybe a total of 3 hours. Hard to jump up when baby is hungry in the middle of the night. Or when he let’s out a shrilling wail because he just wants to be cuddled and comforted. Not for anything absolutely wrong, just to know you are there. It’s hard to get up, walk over, not cry, and pick him up and just love on him, all at 3 o’clock in the morning.

SOMETIMES YOU THINK ABOUT OTHER SCENARIOS

Sometimes I think about how different life would be right now. How everything would be completely different. To come home to someone who loves me as much as they love my son. Tells me not to worry about dishes or the laundry maybe once a week or maybe to not worry about dinner because they got it already. Maybe someone who wakes up for me at 3 o’clock in the morning and soothes my son back to sleep. After thinking about how different my life could be, I remember my foolish pride, and how I was raised.

SOMETIMES IT’S ROUGH

I’ll admit it, I have cried myself to sleep numerous times from exhaustion. I have bawled my eyes out because I realize how much I miss in my child’s life from doing it all on my own. Or because being alone is a down right depressing feeling. I am not alone, I know. I love my child with my entire heart, but he can’t tell me that it’s okay that I let the milk spoil, or burned the chicken (which I NEVER do), or that I haven’t had a chance to shower in 3 days. the laundry never gets completely finished, I go days without washing my hair because it’s just easier to jump in and out of the shower. Some days I wear the exact same outfit as the day before because hell, who cares right? Don’t even get me started about the permanent spit up on certain clothing or the fact that I can’t tell there’s spit up in my hair sometimes, I can only smell it, so it doesn’t quite bother me.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

From doctor appointments to day care, to working all the time, to those supposed days off where you literally DO NOT sit still, it seems to never end.

And yes, you, yeah you, I know you think you are alone in this crazy world they call parenting, but you aren’t There are others struggling just as bad as you wondering if they are doing this whole thing right. Who actually can say they are doing it right? I know you look at everyone around you and tell them you got this and you are not struggling, let them help you, it’s cool to take a five minute nap.

No matter what, when I finally have all the dishes cleaned and put away, the dog has actually gotten a bath and gone outside, and my sweet bundle of joy has finally fallen asleep after a long exhausting day at the office, I know I am the lucky one. I look around and see what all I HAVE accomplished in this single life. I have a place I can call my own, a beautiful life I have created. If I can get past these last two months, I think I can conquer the next 18 plus years.

So no, you aren’t alone, in fact we are drowning together, but hey, we’ve got life jackets, so we are floating. You aren’t alone in this, and no, you aren’t a bad parent, you are awesome and maybe, one day, someone will see that and they won’t turn away. Instead they will embrace your crazy work schedule, your piled up laundry, your dirty dishes, and your strange body odor. Until then, good luck my friend.