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Falling in Love is Easy, Staying in Love is Hard

Falling in love is the easy part.

It can take as little as one moment. It’s easy to get butterflies as you lean in for your first kiss. It’s easy to feel your heart jump when your hands graze for the first time. It’s easy to find love when you’re looking into each other’s eyes. 

But when those moments pass, it’s easy to forget what falling felt like. It’s easy to start feeling alone, and it’s easy to start believing the grass is greener on the other side. Yes, falling in love is easy – almost too easy. But the hard part is staying there.

After the crush, the chase, and, yes, the capture, love slows down. As time goes on, the passion fades, the sparks dissipate, and feeling loved is your normal. You are expected to make dinner, and you expect him to buy you flowers. There’s no more mystery. There’s no more wow factor. Now, it’s just your everyday life. So how do people do it? How do we achieve the #relationshipgoals we see on Instagram? Or become the couple that’s reached their golden anniversary?

I’ll tell you this. You have to choose it every day. 

It’s not easy. Monogamy is probably one of the most difficult thing we as humans do, because we weren’t always made this way. However, it is achievable, and I think it’s what most of us want, right? We want to be comfortable walking around in sweats without a full face of make-up. We want someone that knows everything about us and loves us the same, if not more than when we first met. We want someone to look at us when we’re 60 and say, “You’re still as beautiful as the day I met you.” 

So, make the conscious decision to fall in love with your person every day.

Sure, it’s not going to be the same as your first date, the first time you slept over, or the first time you professed your feelings. It’s a commitment now. It’s more than just love, and I think that’s what makes it most beautiful. You can love all kinds of people in all kinds of ways. But it’s the one you are committed to that makes the difference.

Don’t get me wrong, being committed is a lot different from falling in love. But that’s the fun part. Now you get to explore. You get to grow up together with new experiences that will mold not only your future as a single person, but you both as a couple. You get to be a part of their family, and them yours. You get to come home to someone everyday, and vent to them about your nine to five. You get to fall asleep snuggling, and wake up trying to hide your morning breath. 

When you’re committed, it’s easy to start expecting things and take them from granted. Believe me, I’m so guilty of it. But instead of expecting the same old things you do together, do something different. Don’t make dinner, take him out on a date you’ve planned. Don’t expect flowers, and when he brings them home, it will be a pleasant surprise. You can’t take your love for granted because as soon as you do, your partner is going to find someone who values them more.

In perspective, you don’t realize how many people are looking at you and wishing they had what you do. Falling in love is simple, and it may be tempting to keep falling in love with new people, but your commitment to one person is a beautiful thing. It’s what you want more than anything else – to grow old together, become one family, and to be 100% comfortable, confident, and secure. If that’s all you want in life, make the commitment and fall deeper in love every morning you wake up beside them.

Then staying in love becomes easy, if, above everything else, you choose your person every single day.

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