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Breakup Advice That No One Tells Us (But Actually Works)

Whenever we go through a breakup, people seem to think it's time for them to strap their therapist-pants on and give us all the advice we never asked for. 

We love our friends for trying, but sometimes the best thing to do is the exact opposite of what they tell us.

Don't Dwell On It = Feel Sorry for Yourself

Go ahead. Really feel your heartache, think about how awful it is to be this broken, this sad. Look at yourself in the mirror while you cry. Google pictures of older couples who lasted way longer than your relationship did. 

Tell yourself this is the lowest you've ever been.

Then, realize when you're at your lowest, you can't go any lower. So, you might as well take some risks…

Take Some Time For Yourself = Get Back Out There

Go out with your friends and make a complete fool out of yourself. You are at rock bottom, and there are no rules down there. 

Flirt for attention, flirt for free drinks, sing a sad love ballad at karaoke that bums everyone out, but makes you feel better. 

Just do something, even if it's a lil bad. 

Block Him on Everything = Stalk His Social Media Constantly

But not in the way you normally would after a breakup. Don't compare his process of moving on to yours. Don't get angry that his life is still moving. 

Try to make sure you're having as much or more fun than he is. At first, it will feel petty, and it is. 

Then, one day you will start having so much fun, you'll forget all about comparing your adventures to his. You won't be able to find the time. 

In your quest to "out-fun" him, you'll probably meet great people, try new things and fall in love on a European backpack trip.

It could happen.

Burn His Things = Keep All His Things

Everything he ever gave you, or left at your house— keep it. (Unless, he's asking for it back, don't be weird.) 

Put all the notes, gifts, and memories in a shoebox. Then, add to the box every time a man gives you something. A rose from a stranger, a ticket stub from a movie date, a pen from the hot waiter— put in there. 

Keep adding until the box is so full, you can't close the lid. 

Then, think about all the nice guys you encounter who have given you things. There are so many guys in the world that will give you things.

You COULD fill a shoebox if you wanted to. So, why not do it? 

It's a reminder that there are actually a lot of men in the world, and collecting items from these men might turn into a game that will force you to meet new people.

Don't Talk About Him Constantly = Complain about him

Complaining is the catharsis. Anyone who hates on complaining is complaining about complaining. I will say that until I die, write that on my grave. (woah, that got dark quick.)

Anyway, you should complain. Break ups suck, and you probably have A LOT to say about your ex. So, say it. SAY IT ALL.

Sure, your friends may be annoyed, but eventually, you'll say everything you need to say, and heal. Then, your friends will go through breakups and you will have to listen to their complaints. 

It's the circle of friendship.

So, go ahead. Handle your breakup the wrong way.