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9 Dos and Don'ts When Mending Your Broken Heart

We’ve all been there, or will be there. Your heart is broken. Your relationship ended, your crush got a different girlfriend, your favorite character in Orange is the New Black got sent to max, whatever the case may be, you need to heal.

It’s so easy to make mistakes when you’re trying to heal from a heartbreak, but don’t worry–you will love again.

1. DO take your time.

There are so many cliches out there that tell you to bounce back like a rubber band, but that isn’t always the case. Some people may take mere days to feel better about their latest relationship end, some people take a lifetime, it all depends on you. You aren’t broken just because it’s been a month and you don’t want to get back out there. If you love someone, there’s no telling out much time it could take.

2. DON’T give up on love.

Your relationship of three years just ended. You loved them. You are absolutely decimated. It seems the best, and often only, option is to give up on love all together. You hate love, because it’s really the only reason you’re feeling so crappy right now. Why would you ever let someone make you feel this way again? Just remember, not all love ends just because this love did.

3. DO spend time with your friends.

In this time, your friends may be some of the most helpful tools you have. Not only do they distracted you for a little bit from the pain you’ve been going through, but they also remind you of everything else in your life that you have going for you. They’ll get you out, doing something fun, rebuilding your confidence–and as an added bonus, they are the ones that know exactly how to get you happy again.

4. DON’T distract yourself for an indefinite amount of time.

Obviously, this isn’t something you want to think about. It hurts to wonder why it ended or what you did wrong, and you can go insane wondering what your ex is doing, but you absolutely should not keep yourself from thinking about it forever. In order to heal properly, you need to hurt a little bit. Just like when you break a bone, sometimes they need to re-break it so it can heal properly and allow it to be stronger than ever!

5. DO talk about it.

Even if it’s to your best friend, you need to express how you feel. If you stay in your head, you’ll never get any closure. Discussing your feelings with someone else can allow you to get some clarity on the entire situation, and you might score some advice on how to move on. It’s healthy and you will almost always feel better after.

6. DON’T obsess over it.

While your friends, family, and loved ones are all happy to help you get through it, they will get bored/annoyed/irritated with you talking about your ex 24/7. It will only make you feel worse. A healthy dose of therapy with someone that cares about you is okay, but if you talk/think about it all the time, you’ll only feel worse and people will grow weary of your obsession.

7. DO try to move on, when you’re ready.

One of the final stages of getting over someone is to move onto someone else. A new beau in your life might help you feel better about yourself. It begins a new chapter in your life, which brings closure of the last. Finding someone new can be exciting, it can feel like you’re renewed.

8. DON’T rush into something else right away.

A common misconception is that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. DO NOT DO THIS. You are vulnerable, you are going to become emotionally attached, especially if it’s too early. Sex is not a coping tool. It is something that you should choose to do with someone when you are in a better place, when you are happy and mentally well.

9. DO love yourself.

They didn’t dump you because you aren’t good enough. You lack nothing. You are a beautiful human being that deserves to be loved, and if your ex cannot see that, it is their loss. This time of healing is one that is ideal for you to find yourself, for you to acknowledge your inner beauty, for you to rebuild your self-esteem. Love yourself, because that’s the best thing to do for you.

A heartbreak is hard, harder than a lot of things this life will throw at you. It can often feel as though the pain is endless. Just remember, there is an end to this, right around the corner.

Have faith in yourself and discover happiness.