You know that aging is coming. You’re kind of mentally preparing, but don’t think you’ll have to start yet. Thirty is the age when everything starts to go downhill, so you have time.
Unitl you wake up…
1. Wrinkles and Bags are a Thing
You can see crows feet forming by your eyes. Your mouth wrinkles when you smile…maybe you should give up smiling? There are bags.
What is this!?
Maybe it’s the adult job you have. Or maybe it’s the big bills you’ve been paying for a bit. Either way this sucks. You can’t wait to start using cream to fix this.
2. Everything is Squishy
You’ve always been in pretty good shape. Sometimes you go to the gym and other times you skip, but you don’t eat too bad so it’s ok. Right?
You can smash your boobs down completely. Your butt indents when touched, let alone grabbed. Your arms are starting to flap in the wind. Your stomach doesn’t even have the definition is used to. Wtf? Why haven’t we invented instant toning machines?
3. Hangovers are Just the Beginning…
Yes, you haven’t been able to drink as much as you used to since the great age of 21. Sure, you’ve scaled back and only occasionally go on that bender. Except now when you do…
…the mirror demon is frightening!
It’s bad enough you feel like death, but now you look it. Your skin’s dull and haggard. You eyes are squinty and bloodshot. You look like you haven’t showered in years. Hopefully your bedmate doesn’t notice…
4. Food is Becoming the Enemy
Late night snacks after drinking were the usual in college. You had no problem having a diet consisting of any and all cheap, processed, pre-packaged foods. Now when you try to indulge, your stomach fights you.
It’s like a war being waged and you’re the innocent casualty.
Suddenly, you’re craving things like vegetables. Even if it’s just for the water content. You are limiting the amount of red meat and sugar in your diet. Maybe you’ve gone as far as giving up some of the food groups. What are you going to do when thirty, or even forty, comes!?
5. You go to Bed Early
Remember when you used to tease your parents about going to bed after the news? Now, you find yourself curling up the same way.
You have to get up in the morning! You’ll be useless if you stay out late.
When did this become real life? Probably when the naps were replaced with day jobs that you can’t skip like those “optional” morning classes. If it wasn’t for the bills, you’d still be a Netflix fiend.
6. Mundane Tasks Exhaust You
Things you used to find easy, like walking long distances or taking the stairs, are becoming a challenge. Now you’re winded crossing the street with a slight incline and need to catch your breath after the third flight of stairs.
Maybe cardio is something you should seriously consider.
The gym is starting to look more and more like your best friend. Thankfully you can still keep your momentum during the deed, but why risk it? You don’t want to wake up in your thirties satisfied with a winded three minute session.
7. Everything is Sore and Cracking
Stretching has always been an option to your workout. Now you wake up in the morning and your back hates you.
Maybe you should’ve sprung for that expensive bed?
Yoga or some light stretching in the morning is a requirement before movement can happen. Your appendages are all cracking through simple movements like breathing throughout the day. You keep joking with your peers that you’re secretly a ninty-year old. But really you’re going to be like RoboCop with all new parts at forty.
Yes, we can’t prevent aging and yes it sucks royally. However, at least we’re all going to be old together and we have our friends, like wine and frozen yogurt to get us through. Until they’re replaced by even healthier options…
Hey, look on the brightside!
When you’re old you can do what you want. So screw it. You’re old. You can do what you want.