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20 Things You'll Only Understand If You Curse Like a Fucking Lady

We may be a bit socially uncouth, but we're still good ass people. Just maybe a little misunderstood. We're not rude, or inconsiderate, or anything of the sort. We're just colorful, and that's a good thing. Still, there are some experiences we all share when our language of choice is a little bit…let's say, "crass." 

1. When you try to stop yourself from swearing you accidentally just use another swear word "Oh damn–I mean, shit. Wait. FUCK."

2. And you always end up spitting out a curse word around those people you definitely shouldn’t

3. Like your boss

4. And your boss’s kids

5. And your grandma… yeah, that one was fucking brutal.

6. Your parents have given you a long "talking to” about filtering your language since you were little

7. But you’re fucking unstoppable! 

8. In fact, from a young age, you’ve learned the true diversity of the f-bomb

9. Your fucks range from:

10. Fuck, I stubbed my toe

11. To fuck I look good 

12. To fuck that bitch

13. To my personal favorite, fuck, I need another glass of wine 

14. You even do your best to spice up your cursing vocabulary on the daily

15. Like only referring to your best friend as “hoe bag” 

16. And saving the your ex’s contact name in your phone as “ultimate douche canoe” 

17. You’re easily the least ladylike one of your friends

18. But you’re damn proud of it! 

19. If your friends even minorly insult you, you verbally tear them apart with no remorse

20. They know if you haven’t called them a bitch at least once today something is wrong 

21. And your boyfriend has learned that being called an asshole by you means you love him.

22.  It frustrates you that there’s a constant assumption that a profane vocabulary is mutually exclusive from an expansive one.

23.  You can create perfectly articulate, eloquent, and intelligent statements peppered with profanity, and you'll be doing it 'til the end of fucking time

24. Because you’re like smart AF

25. You make it your New Year’s Resolution every year to curse less…

26. And as you can tell, every year that goes down the goddamn drain 

27. You’ve come to the conclusion that if you ever have children, they’re going to emerge from the womb screaming a long string of offensive words to the doctor

28. And it’s inevitable that you’ll get some interesting calls from their school at some point from the things they’ve learned from you

29. Well, until that day comes, you’re just gonna fucking keep doing you.

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