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To My Crippling Fear, I'm Breaking Up With You

You've really have had a hold on me. Over the years you have consumed and controlled me. You have debilitated me and kept me hostage in my own mind. 

Not anymore. I have thought this over long and hard and I believe that it is best if we go our separate ways. 

Fear, it's not you, it's me. 

I'm sorry to sound cliché, but let me explain myself. I am growing up and I am starting to realize that you are a toxin. 

After years of succumbing to your demands that have kept me from living my life to the fullest, I think it is about time that we part so that I can finally indulge in experiences. 

They may have terrified me once, but I won't allow them to do that anymore because you will be out of the picture. 

You hate change and you taught me to hate it, too. When we were together you would come in full force any time I was about to go through a change. 

You had this way of making the inevitable adjustment in my life seem like it was the end of the world. You made me cry tears of doubt whenever a change would arise. 

Breaking up with you is a change that I want and need to go through, because once we are done I will look at all of the changes to come in the future with faith instead of doubt. 

Even the littlest things you disallow me from reaching my potential. You never encouraged me to take little risks or leaps of faith. 

Sure, it wasn't going to be the end of the world if I didn't try that new restaurant or cut my hair in a different style, but because you always insisted on keeping life as consistent and safe as possible I have yet to take even the slightest of risks. 

Now that we are no longer a we, fear, I would like you to know that I am going to be all right. I'll take baby steps with my risks, and I won't go overboard. 

You weren't all that bad. In fact there is one thing about you I will keep with me forever. I'm thankful for what we had because sometimes you were right. 

When we were in an uncomfortable situation and I tried to brush it off in an attempt to "be nice," you challenged me and you would give me a little nudge, I acknowledged it. 

Whenever I get that feeling in my gut that something is truly wrong in a situation. 

When I look back I will cherish our time together, because without it I would never have known how much more I can do without you controlling my life. 

Don't be afraid to reach out every now and again, but only when you really find it appropriate.