This Is What I Gained from Losing You

While we were together, I was convinced that the world was at my fingertips—that you and I, as partners, would raise to new heights.

But this was nothing more than an illusion. I was impressionable and truly believed you had my best interest in mind.

You and I stood in the middle of a dense fog—unable to see beyond each other. Not knowing what was on the other side of the mist piqued my curiosity. I wanted to wander through uncharted territory, but my feet were cemented by guilt.

The love I felt for you outweighed my desires to better myself as an individual. I felt guilty at the thought of moving forward without you; I stood still for someone who planned on remaining in the same place.

It took much too long to learn that you never wanted the best for me—you wanted dominance over my life.

When we parted, we were breaking from a routine, but a tired one. It was like halving a boulder with your bare hands, but also freeing a caged bird simultaneously.

Without you, I was finally able to let go of the fear and sense of negative normalcy that I had become accustomed to.

All along, I had access to a new doors but you held the keys. Now, I could recognize my capabilities and possibilities that I previously turned a blind eye to.

You didn’t want to see me fly, so you chained my ankle to yours. I was made to feel like an equal at your side, but my heart and soul were still in the clouds.

As I meandered down the road less traveled, I realized that someone who truly loves you will want to empower you—not break you down. They will want to see you at your best and not take advantage of you at your worst.

In losing you—and us—I gained the courage and the strength to face reality alone—outside of the small world we had been cohabiting; I gained a spontaneous person who had been oppressed underneath manipulation; I gained a reflection of my self-image instead of only seeing you.

And now that I know what I deserve, I have nothing more to lose—and everything to gain.