She wants to be loved in uncertainty. When it’s not easy. When you’re fighting and your eyes are reddened from emotion and frustration as you storm out the door. She wants to be loved in those moments of doubt, when she’s driving you crazy. She wants to fall asleep, and wake up knowing that her heart is safe. She wants you to realize that she fights with you because she loves you, because she is cut like a gem with many facets, she is a woman who won’t always be simple.
She wants to be loved through your actions. Not by saying ‘I love you.’ She wants to be loved when you’re not with her, especially then. When you’re at a bar and she’s far away, and another girl approaches you, this is when she wants you to love her. Because that’s the real love that’s dying – the romance of having patience, loyalty when things aren’t working in that moment, the romance of not having one eye wandering at the so called ‘options,’ because you know that it’s all bullshit – that this ambiguous ‘more’ doesn’t even exist.
She doesn’t care about the grand gestures of love – she doesn’t need you to light a hundred candles, a five star dinner or a romantic trip to Paris. Those things are nice, but this is not how you love her. You love her by not breaking her trust, you love her by not seeking comfort or validation in the flirtation with another. When she’s far away, when there’s doubt, this is when she wants you to love her the most.
She doesn’t want you to always agree with her. She wants you to understand her, but she wants to be challenged, pushed – to be better, to live better, to grow. She wants you to care so much that you won’t ever let her slack on her talents or not get everything she deserves.
She wants you to love her demons, the parts of her that can’t seem to love. She wants you to see her at her worst, frustrating the shit out of you, and then think, ‘this is the only problem I want to have.’ She wants you to cup her face when she’s bare-faced, consumed with insecurity, palms sweating, scared to death to let you in, and look at her with such intimacy that it makes her believe in lasting relationships again. This is how she wants to be loved.
Even if she’s a million miles away, she wants you to still feel her touch, her lips on your skin, seeing her gaze, looking right through you, touching those vulnerable parts of you that you hate. This is how she wants to be loved, and if you can’t love her like that, if you can’t love her when she’s not there with as much certainty as you do when she’s next to you, she doesn’t want your love.
She doesn’t want your money. She doesn’t want the lavish gifts. She wants to feel like dating her is not the end of your freedom, but the beginning of it. She doesn’t want to feel like the person you’re settling with, but the person you’re taking off with – planning every adventure with, shutting down the club with, every crazy dream you plan for the future, she wants you to see her in it.
She wants to be the first person you rant excitedly to, when your dreams come true, she wants you to see her next to you. And if you don’t see her there, she doesn’t want your love. Because this is how she wants to be loved, she wants to inspire you to get every single thing from this life that you want.
She doesn’t want to hang out, ‘Netflix and Chill.’ Not all the time. She wants to play, she wants you to dive into life with her, but not because she’s right there, because it’s comfortable, easy, but because everything is brighter and better next to her than you ever thought it could be.
She wants to be the girl you fantasize about. The girl who makes your whole body excited with electricity. She wants you to make love to her with such intimacy and passion that it makes her body tremble as chills run up her spine. When you look at her, she doesn’t just want you to see the woman that you want to grow old with, have kids with. She wants to be the reason you feel alive, the reason you love life.
This is how she wants to be loved, but will never ask for. And if you can’t love her like this, she doesn’t want your love at all.
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